So I hang out with my mom
A little more than I'm s’posed to
It's not like anything weird
Just don't have peeps that I’m close to
But we've got a couple minutes 'til she picks me up
So we could kiss a little or maybe just cup
My hands on your boobies, or yours on my tool
If not, whatevs, whatevs
I'm cool

My parents make me take pills
'Cause I don't feel things like they can
I have opinions on cheese
And eat it straight from the spray can
And I saw you in the bleachers and I have to admit
I thought you'd be the kinda girl to show me some tit
Or your booty
Or your hoo-hoo
Would especially rule
If not, whatevs, whatevs
I'm cool

You know my daddy paid some high school kids to be my friends
But they won’t take me out, me out
Me out, me out
And my mother bought a cat but all he does is sit around and go meow, meow
Meow, meow
And my brother was kicked by a horse and now he also only says meow, meow
Meow, meow
And I know that makes me special like your boobies so you oughta take ’em out, 'em out
Like of your shirt, your shirt
...

So have you done it before
Is it true that it’s hairy
My best friend says you're a slut
Don't worry he's imaginary
So grab my dong and bump it or however this goes
I’m a little inexperienced, don't know if it shows
But you could help me fit in with the rest of our school
If not, whatevs, whatevs
Okay I said it
I'm cool

You know there's a lotta different things that make a kid the sorta kid he shouldn't be, n't be
Shouldn't be, n't be
Like his best friend's six foot tall and isn't real, and I'll admit it
He's a bee, a bee
Bzz, a bee, a bee
And when I wanna to touch a person they get scared and run away like I'm some bee, some bee
Just some bee, some bee
Oh why won't someone love me for the boy I am and know I'll always be, ayes be
Ayes be, ayes bee, ayes bee, ayes bee
Ayes bee, ayes bee, ayes bee, ayes bee

But then I saw in your eyes
You don't think I'm some cripple
So give me a chance
Or at least just a nipple
You could do it now or wait until the weekend
Or
Maybe instead
Could you just be my friend?

'Cause I think you know the world can be kinda cruel, but
You're not a slut and I'm not a fool so
Whatevs, whatevs, whatevs
Whatevs, whatevs, what-eh-eh-evs
Whatevs, whatevs, whatevs
We're cool
Through whatevs, whatevs, whatevs
Whatevs
We are cool