And now the shipping forecast, issued by the Met Office on behalf of the Maritime and Coastguard Agency at 17:00 hours today.​

North Utsire, South Utsire, Forties, Cromarty, northwesterly 5 to 7, occasionally gale 8, backing southwesterly and decreasing 3 for a time. Rain later, moderate becoming good.​

Humber, Shannon, northeasterly 6, good, growing steadily, becoming 7. Happy birthday.​

Tyne, Thames, Forth, little bit, muchly, 32 long, size 8, becoming smart later.​

Dogger, Fisher, Dover, I hardly knew her.​

Viking, arriving soon, leaving later with your wife.​

Fair Isle, Faeroes, pyramid, sphinx.​

Biscay, Fastnet, dial-up, broadband.​

Lundy, mardi, mercredi.​

Plymouth, no.​

German Bight, watch out for that.​

Portland, Fitzroy, moving forward, 22 yards, touchdown.​

Irish Sea, Irish do, Baileys, Hebrides.​
Rockall, sole, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.​

Trafalgar, rectangular, becoming square.​

And finally, Longest Johns, starting strong, 7 or 8, becoming not so poor, then good.​

That was the shipping forecast for 17:00 hours, Wednesday 18th August.​