[Intro]
Damn, it's really bright up here (I'm not afraid to piss and moan)
I guess I shoulda brought some sunglasses, if I knew we were shooting a video outside (about my feelings and how I've grown)
Now some of you out there might be up on your roof talking to yourself too (now I've got no sense of humor about myself, but I take shots at everyone else)
But you ain't famous rappers, so no-one cares (I'm like a kid and god forbid)
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going downstairs (people call be out on stupid things that I did)

[Verse 1]
You can try to throw away my lyric sheets before I can read 'em
Ha! too bad I got em memorized I don't even need 'em
Yeah I still got homophobic rhymes but you can't get upset
Cus that fag Elton John and I once did a duet
To my fans, I apologize for ruining your life
I'll get back to writing songs about murdering my wife
He spits his lines in perfect time without any rehearsin'
Sometimes he rhymes about himself in the third person
His rapping is hilarious or completely serious
And if you make fun of him then he will get frikkin' furious
Cus he can dish it out but he just can't take it
Like a baker who hates cake, but always bakes it
Who's this dude looking at me? He looks just like me
He's clocking me mocking me, I think he wants to fight me
Ow, I tried to hit the man but he broke my hand and then he ran
Musta been a crazed fan
Oh, damn, there he is again
[Chorus]
I'm not afraid to throw a chair its from IKEA so I don't care
I'm bumping into people on the street
I'm wearing Shape Ups on my feet
I'm just like you, I've been there too
I'm rich and famous so I take that back it's not true

[Verse 2]
It was my decision to do drugs, I did it for fun but now I'm done
Now I'll get back to making puns about Kim Kardashian
And her two tons buns of fun, so gargantuan that they block out the Sun
I'm the world's greatest rapper, a fact that's undisputed
But for some reason I act like I am persecuted
If you think I'm a turkey well then you can just stuff it
I'm the only MC to have a beef with a puppet
I could rap about Afghanistan, Iraq or BP
But I'd rather make fun of some minor celebrities
Here's a list of people that I'd like to impeach:
Patricia Headon, Will Weaton, Ruben Studdard, and Screech
But I won't diss Kanye or Lil Wayne, that ain't fun
They're both really nice, they ain't hurt no one
But screw Michael J. Fox, cus he shakes when he walks
Aren't you glad that I'm back to get this message across

[Chorus]
I'm not afraid to get really pissed
At all my critics, that hardly exist
I'm such whiny baby, I'll keep complaining
I'm rich as hell, my records sell
I'm such an ass, but I get a pass
People love me cus I can rhyme words really fast