[Verse 1: Harry Styles]
Sorry to tell you
1D is dead
As soon as this song is done
I'm gonna shave my head
And join the military
It's always been my dream
WHOOPIE!

[Verse 2: Niall Horan]
It's time to f*** off
Let's phone it in
I was too lazy to put my contact lenses in
Lets get this over with
Roll the nostalgic clips
From last week

[Chorus: All]
Time to put 1D out of its misery
Cause the dream has gotten stale
So we're getting out of jail
Time to bail out of boy band purgatory
This dog and pony shows saying adios and we'll see you never

[Verse 3: Liam Payne]
I don't like music (what)
I never have (that's mental)
Just wanted to score some cash and loads of groupie a**
Got a fit model now
And a fat bank account
Peace out!
[Chorus: All]
You and me won't get any of the royalties (Why?)
Never wrote a single note (Oh, right)
One of us will end up broke
Won't be me
One last time dance awkwardly
Never found the beat
We had ten left feet
But we failed together

[Bridge: Louis Tomlinson]
Matching suits
Bad reviews
Taylor Swift
Talking s***
Apologies
Mean parodies
Feeling lame
Where is Zayn?

[ZAYN]
Hello mates
I swung by
To show off my new hair dye
And to plug my song
And to tell you all that I have become the Justin one
[Chorus: Niall Horan]
Hey Louis
I am starting A golf agency (LOOK IT UP!)
Do you mind if I play through
*burp* Whacking balls is what I do
No more tweets, screams
And no more sexy loitering

[bridge 2...]
We can be adults
We can join a cult
We can sleep past seven

Buy Some Baggy Jeans
And smoke all the weed
And eat chips forever

Wanna shag my wife
Lead a normal life
And have no direction