[Verse 1]
You walk into the office
And pull yourself together
For a meeting with your A-hole boss
He tells you that you're fired
But he calls it retired
He says sorry but we've gotta cut costs
You start screaming like a fool
You trash your cubicle
And they have to call security
You see a hot girl by the curb
And you try to flirt with her
But she thinks you need help crossing the street

[Hook]
When you're fifty
Sometimes you drink 'til you pass out
On the floor
Now your liver's destroyed
And you've got haemorrhoids
And you can barely get it up anymore
[C'mon, that only happened once
Shut up Taylor Swift]
Fifty

[Verse 2]
Your kids think you're lame
And they can't hide their shame
When you're with them in a public place
And your wife can hardly stand you
She always reprimands you
And your son calls you a douchebag to your face
And then you've finally had enough
You say son you think you're tough
You think that you can whoop your dad
He says no I'd rather not
You say give me your best shot
And he kicks you right in the nads
[Hook]
When you're fifty
[Hey shut up]
I'll sing a verse of your stupid song
You've got squinty little eyes
And you sound crappy live
Kanye was drunk but he wasn't wrong
And you sucked on the Grammys
[Ah c'mon, don't cry
I'm sorry, I'm just going through a rough time
That was uncalled for, you're very talented
Oh god, somebody get me the hell out of this enchanted forest]