[Spoken Intro]
Lady Gaga: What do you say BK?
Beyonce: Are you gonna tell me the concept for this telephone video or what?
Lady Gaga: Well...

[Verse 1: Lady Gaga, Beyonce]
First of all this song is not as good as Bad Romance
And it's not even close to Poker Face or Just Dance
So I will distract them by getting half naked
And throw everything at them but the kitchen sink sink
The kitchen sink sink
What do you think think?
I will prove that I don't have a penis, wink wink
First I'll get stripped naked by some burly prison guards
And make out with a shemale in the prison yard yard
This Video seems goofy, you should just do it alone
Besides I'm getting sick of all these songs about phones

[Hook]
Help me out of jail then we follow with some bad dialogue
We poison everyone including a cute dog
Then we start to dance and there's dead people everywhere
As usual I have lot's of crazy crap in my hair
P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-product placement
Hide the d-dead bodies in the b-b-basement
Blood and guts and boobs and buts
And I just wanna make your head explode
Beep beep beep, beepbeep beep beep beep
That was Lady Gaga in Morse Code
[Verse 1: Beyonce, Lady Gaga]
If you think I'm doing this then you're a crazy bastard
Must have blown a gasket, are you tripping on acid?
As a child were you abused by some big crazy bastard
And did he ever make you put the lotion in the basket?
I just wanna do a simple shoot with dancin'
You used to be a diva now you're Marilyn Manson
You're gonna do my video and do it my way
I'd hate for something bad to happen top your familay
My familay-ay?
That's right Beyonce
A piano might accidentally fall on Jay-Z

[Hook]
Somebody help me 'cause I don't want to sing anymore
She's got a gun to my head on the dance floor
Rub-a-dub-dub, three nuns in a tub
And they're doing it with the garden gnome
Please don't beat me up but I have to ask
What does it have to do with a telephone?

[Spoken Outro]
Beyonce: You crazy bitch! Ahhhh!