[Verse 1: Mark Douglas]
In the eighties
When you heard a popular song
You always knew that it wouldn't be long
Before you hear a bitchin’ guitar solo
Then the nineties came
And music got gloomy and earnest
But even shoe gazing flannel wearing purists
Could still rock a one note solo
But nowadays, in the musical break
Producers always make the same stupid mistake
Of having, Pitbull, and Eminem and Nicki Minaj
Buttin' in
Rapping about how great they rap, or something offensive
Bragging about some bullshit that was never intended
To be on the song in the first place baby

[Chorus: Mark Douglas]
The guest rapper killed the guitar solo
They replaced the virtuoso
With bleeped out fucks and yolos (yolos)
The guest rapper with their shameless self promo
It's time to crank it to eleven
On a stairway to heaven
And deliver my six string deathblow
One, two, three, four

[Verse 2: Michael Gregory]
Ding dong, I heard a song
So I answered the call
The rapper’s union sent me here
'Cos it's the musical law
The record companies are burnin'
But I'm still cash money earnin'
Just spitting verses
While you scratch your head and try to discern it
Why don't you play that solo
So low that nobody can hear it
You're out of tune with the times
And you can’t rhyme, so you fear it
And the electric guitar, is an extinct dinosaur
I’m like a wet t-shirt contest
Because I fill empty bars (Oh!)
Sellin' like Don Draper
Hung like a skyscraper
Call my wallet kinkos
’Cos it's flooded with paper

[Verse 3: Mark Douglas]
You didn't service the song
You merely spoke of your dong
Aww damn it
You got me rappin'
How the eff did that happen?
Never mind, you’r out of time
I'll take this real estate back
Erase your ass from this track
Ladies and gentlemen Slash
Couldn't make it
So my main man Dave's gonna take it
[Interlude: Mark Douglas & Dave Hill]
All right I want you to put those lighters up in the air
Not your phones, actual flames
Don't be afraid to burn your thumb a little bit for
Rock 'n' Roll
And if you make that flame big enough
We can ignite the fire
That brings the guitar solo back from the dead
And kills the guest rapper
I'm not putting down rap per se
You know there was a time
Where rap and rock peacefully co-existed
But that led to the horror of Limp Bizkit

[Post-Interlude: Mark Douglas & Dave Hill]
Dude you just talked over my whole solo
Oh, sorry dude

[Chorus 2: Mark Douglas]
I guess I just killed the guitar solo
I couldn't keep my mouth shut
I pulled a Yoko Ono (Oh no!)
I won't let the guitar die like the dodo
Let's all go together
To the guitar center
Where the solo lives forever
Oh yeah, yeah yeah
[Outro]
I'm home