[Intro: Mark Douglas as Owl City]
E-lec-tron-ic wuss

[Verse 1: Mark Douglas as Owl City]
It seems like a silly choice
For a grown man to use this voice
The Postal Service did it first
I sound like them but ten times worse
A cloud pooped out a rainbow turd
I'm just singing random words
I make songs with bleeps and bloops
I sometimes write with Apple loops

[Chorus: Mark Douglas as Owl City]
Electronic wuss, electronic wuss
I sound like a total puss
The ocean's constellations make me cry

[Verse 2: Mark Douglas as Owl City]
Swimming in a lemon creek
Tadpoles tickle my butt cheeks
A bearded nun flies through the sky
I wrote this song while I was high
I make love to birds and bees
And masturbate to redwood trees
A dragon's balls will drop today
A centaur screams hip-hip-hooray
[Chorus: Mark Douglas as Owl City & Mike Birch as Dad]
Electronic wuss, let's go smoke some purple kush
Prepubescent girls think I'm so deep
My sitting posture is really bad
Holy crap, here comes my Dad
Your mother and I are trying to get some sleep

[Verse 3: Mark Douglas as Owl City]
I asked the strongman in the sky
Why do donuts have to die?
I had a dream the other night
That Elmo and I got in a fight
I couldn't make my punches land
I noticed I had lobster hands
Then a snake wearing a vest
Said, did you study for the test? (What test?)

[Outro: Mark Douglas as Owl City & Mike Birch as Dad]
I woke up and I wrote this tune
It's going to get me tons of poon
Come ride with me in my sensitive balloon
(Turn that goddamned Casio off and go to bed!)