[Verse 1: Mark Douglas as Louis Armstrong]
I've been gargling with broken glass
It helps my voice when I'm singing jazz

[Verse 2: Franchesca Ramsey as Billie Holiday]
Drinking wine makes singing jazz easy

[Verse 3: Todd Womack as Bob Dylan]
My singing coach couldn't hit no notes
Had a frog in his throat and he had a stroke
So I sing like this

[Verse 4: Mark Douglas as Joe Cocker]
What would you do if I puked on your shoes?
Would you be pissed off at me?

[Verse 5: Anastasia Douglas as Dolly Parton]
Did y'all ever notice that I sound like Butters?
Maybe I'll discover he's my long lost brother
My voice is high as Jesus in the sky

[Verse 6: Mark Douglas as Neil Young]
Jon Hamm, take a look at my wife
Do you think she's cute?
She has ruined my life, I want to give her to you
[Verse 7: Anastasia Douglas as Stevie Nicks]
Stevie Nicks dresses like a witch
She's a higher pitched Bob Dylan

[Verse 8: Todd Womack as Geddy Lee]
Today Tom Sawyer's not taught in school
It says the n-word and that's not cool (that's Huck Finn)
Really? (Yeah)

[Verse 9: Mark Douglas as Michael McDonald]
I sing from somewhere in the back of my throat
I eat a lot of cheese cause it helps me to sing
Like I'm a sad dog

[Verse 10: Mark Douglas as Brian Johnson]
I'm drinking gasoline because it helps me scream
I got the biggest hemorrhoids that you've ever seen

[Verse 11: Todd Womack as Tom Petty]
In the 70s rock stars didn't have to be handsome
I could rock out on stage looking just like Richard Branson

[Verse 12: Mark Douglas as Morrissey]
I am Morrissey and I'm depressed
It's cause I never ever have sex
[Verse 13: Todd Womack as Aaron Neville]
I don't sing low
I don't know how to
And that may be all you need to know

[Verse 14: Anastasia Douglas as Gwen Stefani]
I don't sing, I just whine like a baby
And that's why they pay me
I'm just a girl
I'm just a goo-goo, goo

[Verse 15: Franchesca Ramsey as Britney Spears]
Oh baby, baby, I was hot ten years ago
But then I had some babies

[Verse 16: Mark Douglas as Dave Matthews]
I was big in the 90s
John Mayer and Coldplay sound just like me
But they never credit me

[Verse 17: Anastasia Douglas as Dolores O'Riordan]
Just eat some bread or you'll be dead
Ghandi,Ghandi,Ghandi-ie-ie-ie, oh

[Verse 18: Mark Douglas as Billy Corgan]
I used to sing on the toilet
That's how my songs were recorded
[Verse 19: Franchesca Ramsey as Macy Gray]
I try to clear the phlegm out my throat
When I try to speak I just mumble
I sound kinda homeless, it's weird
That I have a singing career

[Verse 20: Mark Douglas as Billy Joe Armstong & All]
These voices were ridiculous
Sometimes they don't sound right
That's why they probably won't ever die
This video's ridiculous
But please don't unsubscribe
Or say we wasted minutes of your life