[Evan Gregory as Pharrell Williams]
Phar-rell in-tro
First off start with an 808 drum
Pounding their brains into submission

[Sarah Gregory as Taylor Swift]
Paying for a live drummer is dumb
Now you've received 808-101

[Mark Douglas as Justin Bieber]
Remember to come off rebellious and damaged
But not so much that you cannot be packaged

[Tatiana Owens as Ariana Grande]
I like to add a dumb saxophone riff
And repeat it like a GIF

[Mark Douglas as Justin Bieber]
I could be your boyfriend and whisper over this

[Mark Douglas as Kanye West]
Auto-tune is your best friend
It's been my jam since 2010
Now you can be the next pop king
Without ever learning to sing (ah!)
[Chorus: All]
Good enough pop song (good enough)
Made for simpletons (mouth breathers)
Written by robots
Soundtracks to ass shots

[Interlude: Mark Douglas as Robot]
Break it down, Avicii
Now add some country
Very appealing to club kids and rednecks

[Sarah Gregory as Katy Perry]
Write about breakups, always play the victim
Sing about boys, take selfies with your kittens

[Sarah Gregory as Taylor Swift]
Tell all your fans that you love 'em a bunch
Send them Christmas presents and take 'em to lunch

[Tatiana Owens as Beyoncé]
If you're like Bey, you'll always raise the bar
Like when I sing about having sex in a car
Try using poetry and clever metaphors
Just like when I called a dick a surfboard (surfboard}

[Evan Gregory as Pharrell Williams]
Make sure you have something to say
Even if it's stolen from Marvin Gaye (wake up, wake up)
[Tatiana Owens as Iggy Azalea]
Everything is programmed and so are you
My behind is on your mind so what can you do, boo?
This fatty's sending happy signals to your fun receptors
This jam will eat your brain like it was Hannibal Lecter
(Nailed it, that's a ripper)

[Chorus: All]
Overplayed pop songs (overplayed)
At strip clubs and malls (up in that club)
Soon you'll crave shit songs (nom, nom, nom)
That's Stockholm Syndrome (we've got you by the balls)

[Interlude: Sarah Gregory as Katy Perry & Sarah Gregory as Taylor Swift]
This is the part where I break it down and have a whiny speaky part in the middle of the song
Hey, hey, hey! This is the part where I do that 'cause, you know, that's just me trying to come off as your sweet, hip, cool friend/older sister
Yeah, well I know all the slang words, playa
Word! And now I'm going to do a duet with my cat 'cause I love me some cats, just like y'all do
Yeah, well I'm going to dress up like a cat. That's how much I love cats
I'm wearing cats
I ate a cat

[Chorus: All]
It's the best pop song
Wait, something feels wrong
We're good musicians
Let's just jam unplugged
[Outro: All]
It's the last pop song
No more ass drop songs