[Intro: His Holiness: 2 Scarvez]
Shit
2 SCARVEZ!

[Verse 1]
Well my name is 2 SCARVEZ and I'm pleased to meet you
I'm a crazy spastic rapper never know what I do
I pop bottles like they're zits while I'm putting on the ritz
My best thoughts come when I'm taking my shits
I said welcome, to my humble abode
I strap bombs to my chest to watch the beat explode
And now the NSA is looking at the rhymes I wrote
Report: "2 Scarvez is a crazy, cool, badass. End quote."

[Chorus]
Pleased to meet you my name's 2 SCARVEZ
A wandering minstrel a straight up bard
So just charge it to my card while I scarf so hard
And I'm a fire breathing dragon like Charizard

[Verse 2]
All those who wander are not lost
But I was drunk and high and my eyes were crossed
So I was walking in circles in the desert like Moses
I squat down to take a shit and it smelled like roses
I got a god complex and a full Pokedex
Hence why I get no respect from the opposite sex
So I close my eyes pull up the covers and lock my knees
And once the beat drops there's no stopping me
Welcome to my metaphysical wonderland
I personify your evil and fears like I am Ahriman
Yeah I just went ancient Mesopotamian
And if I was the devil I would just be Tazmanian
I smoke, I drink, I let my organs decay
But when I masturbate my problems seem to go away
Golden rubbers in these pockets pulling eyes out of sockets
I'm throwing bows in the club ain't nobody can stop it
[Chorus]
Pleased to meet you my name's 2 SCARVEZ
A wandering minstrel a straight up bard
So just charge it to my card while I scarf so hard
And I'm a fire breathing dragon like Charizard

[Verse 3]
I'm cracking backs like voices in puberty
I'm an amateur chiropractor with immunity
In the eyes of the court. Great like Gatsby old sport
I party hard with your unpaid child support
I open a case for every place we deface
And by the time the cops show up we're gone without a trace
I speak my own language: idiosyncratic
I seek my own danger and I'm coming back at it
And now I walk home on a trek of shame
A stranger stops and asks me what's my name?
So I look him in the eyes and he starts to realize
I'm about to bring the din so I declare to him
You such a motherfucker call you Oedipus
I'm a fucking gladiator call me Spartacus
Now you don't want my wrath, my explosiveness
So you bow in the presence of His Holiness: 2 Scarvez