[Verse 1]
I would be a liar if I pretended to admire
The red light windscreen cleaning empire that you've built
But my heart is good; it's not a thing of stone or wood
I'll give you fifty cents to take away my guilt

[Bridge]
I give money to folk that just don't have enough
To try to justify the future purchases of stuff
That I don't need
I know that one less vodka cranberry tonight
And I could feed some foreign family for a fortnight
But I might just have one more
After all what is vodka for
Apart of making you wanna shag your best mate's wife
And drowning out the guilt you feel about your perfect life?

[Chorus 1]
Fuck the poor; what is all this hoo-haa for?
There is only one reason I'll phone 1-800-034034
It's the force that drove Teresa
And that school that Oprah built
I'll give you fifty bucks to take away my guilt

[Chorus 2]
Fuck the poor; I'm not pretending anymore
That I really give two shits about some kids in Bangalore
I'm more interested in footy
Than seeing the Solomons rebuilt
But I'll give you fifty bucks to take away my guilt
[Outro]
I'll give you fifty bucks to take away my guilt