The Stupendium
Carol of the Tails
[Verse 1]
Sneaking down the stairs, peeling back the paper
Don't tear, I'll re-wrap it later
Mom wouldn't care I'm a gift invader
'Cus nobody's there when I go to wake her
Nobody's aware I'm off on a caper
I'm a little scared, is this what she paid for?
Did Waygetter get a play-tester?
Think they'd make their wares just a little safer
I was not prepared, there was no disclaimer
To account for their jeopardous behaviour
Better take care to avoid the danger
Mama knows you're there and you won't escape her
Could have chosen a bear or a Power Ranger
But I went for presents a little stranger
Are these babies out to save me?
Do they want me dead, do they want a saviour?
[Chorus 2]
You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry
'Cus if she hears the sound, you'll probably die
You'd better have a silent night
Or you're in for a violent fright
The creatures are stirring, soft fur and red eyes
[Chorus 1, Tattletails]
Hark hear the wails
Sweet Tattletails
All seem to say
She's on her way
Christmas is here
Bringing the fear
Nobody home
Weak and alone
Na Na Na Na
Eyes in the dark
Keeps following
All harrowing
She's listening
Hear baby sing
End drawing near
Mama is here
[Chorus 2]
You'd better watch out. You'd better run, hide
'Cus Mama has come for her children tonight
You'd better have a silent night
Or you're in for a violent fright
'Cus creatures are stirring, they're not even mice
[Verse 2]
I don't think it’s right in the festive season
To have to hide from obsessive demons
All around the tree, battery powered heathens
Calling out to me 'cus they want a feeding
Charge them if they sleep, brush them 'til they're gleamin'
Tend to every need or they'll start a-screamin'
Baby not a peep, Mama's been a schemein'
And she's gonna keep coming til I'm bleedin'
What's with all the eggs that you guys are leavin'?
Should I be collecting them for a reason?
Already got a lot of problems I'm dealing
A treasure hunt is NOT what I need this evening!
No sugar plums, I don't think I'm dreaming
Hope that these boxes have receipts in
At least a Furby wouldn’t hurt me
And in the dark they'd just be sleeping!
[Verse 3]
Alone on the porch and my torch keeps on dying
How come their batteries last longer than mine?
I just want to rest in peace
No! I meant asleep!
Santa won’t stop if I’m dead on the drive!
[Chorus 2]
Deep in the basement, they're waiting you'll find
To catch her on tape, all is placed and aligned
You'll never have a silent night
'Til you make a sacrifice
Send her to the afterlife, Mama must die
[Chorus 1, Tattletails]
Hark hear the wails
Sweet Tattletails
All seem to say
She's on her way
Christmas is here
Bringing the fear
Nobody home
Weak and alone
Na Na Na Na
Eyes in the dark
Keeps following
All harrowing
She's listening
Hear baby sing
End drawing near
Mama is here
[Chorus 2]
You'd better watch out. You'd better run, hide
Ages 3 and up was quite clearly a lie
You'd better have a silent night
Or you'll see unholy frights
Creatures are stirring, you'll never survive!!
(No more Mama!)
((Slowed)No more Mama!)
((More Slowed)No more Mama!)