The Stupendium
Fazbear Family
[Intro]
Open up the doors and let them in
Gotta mop the floors and clear the bins!
Better check the stores and order in!
Don’t you just adore this sort of thing?

[Verse 1: Trainer]
Welcome to Fazbear Training and your new career!
Please just ignore the staining, the last guy disappeared
Management may be frustrating, it's gonna be weird
To host team meetings as the only employee here!
It's guaranteed that you'll probably succeed
Cutting corners is just how you achieve
Remember, return custom is key!
So try to let at least a few of them leave

[Pre-Chorus]
Lally's Lollies! You'll have a lolly good time!

[Chorus, Helpy]
Welcome to the Fazbear family!
Clean family fun! (With some tragedy)
You've sunk your savings, they'll sink their teeth
Into a juicy slice! (Or a lobotomy)
Who's scared of a little liability?
Health and safety? More of a luxury
You've got a lot to learn, so if it's unclear
Just know the crusts aren’t all that's getting stuffed here
[Post-Chorus: Henry, spoken]
Congratulations on completing your first day. However, your job isn't over just yet...

[Verse 2]
Hear the creaking of gears creep in your ears
Deep secrets we have been keeping for years
Can you keep from their teeth and your sheets from arrears?
No funeral cover, so sort your affairs
Who would think pizza could be such a lethal career?
That cuddly creatures could leave you in tears?
No culinary teachers could leave you prepared
For guarding the kitchen while screaming in fear

[Verse 3: Protagonist]
You gotta be kidding me, kiddies come here?
For tyrannical mechanical murderous bears?
I was planning for a life as a restaurateur
So robotics was probably an awful idea!
Now I’m the boss of a cursed pizzeria
No villain, just an innocent entrepreneur
I want to fill children with fun and with cheer!
Not kill 'em and fill 'em with pistons and gears!

[Pre-Chorus]
Marty's Plungers! Nothin' goes down that can't come up!!
[Chorus, Helpy]
Welcome to the Fazbear family!
Clean family fun! (With some tragedy)
You've sunk your savings, they'll sink their teeth
Into a juicy slice! (Or a lobotomy)
Who's scared of a little liability?
Health and safety? More of a luxury
You've got a lot to learn, so if it's unclear
Just know the crusts aren’t all that's getting stuffed here

[Verse 4: Trainer]
So, play the music, light the lights
You're gonna get a private show tonight
Discount items might be nice
But save too much, you'll pay the price!
There's a world of cheap attractions to buy!
Or save the cash and find them outside
That pestilent elephant is a hell of a find
But a malevolent element could develop inside
We're gonna get you to the end of the week
Now you can run a restaurant effortlessly
‘Cus you can clean the toilets at the press of a key!
Just check the ball pit for any fleshy debris

[Pre-Chorus]
Flo's Glossy Floss! The first step to true romance!
[Chorus, Helpy]
Welcome to the Fazbear family!
Clean family fun! (With some tragedy)
You've sunk your savings, they'll sink their teeth
Into a juicy slice! (Or a lobotomy)
Who's scared of a little liability?
Health and safety? More of a luxury
You've got a lot to learn, so if it's unclear
Just know the crusts aren’t all that's getting stuffed here

[Molten Freddy, spoken]
Hey, Bon Bon! It's the birthday boy!

[Verse 5: Molten Freddy]
Well hello again! Here we go again! Start the show again!
I think we all know the direction this is goin' in!
You sit by the vents and prevent us getting in
Then you get a hug from a friendly exoskeleton!

[Verse 6: William Afton (Scraptrap)]
No use in fleeing, you're feeding the sequence, keeps repeating
No time for grieving, the scene is teeming with demon playthings
Reeking and leaking, unspeakable freaks who need spring cleaning
Just keep the springs dry... or you’ll end up screaming!

[Verse 7: Scrap Baby]
It’s safe to say you aren’t what we all expected
But you’re a gift and it’d be rude to just reject it
We were built to dance and sing but we’re infected
So make us whole, feed us the souls that you’ve collected

[Bridge: Elizabeth Afton]
I’m not a monster, I just want to be liked
Am I what you designed, daddy? Do you feel pride?
I want to talk about these feelings inside
But every time I open up, some children tend to die!

[Instrumental Break]

[Verse 8: Trainer, with Molten Freddy]
Congratulations, your probation was a triumph!
But we're afraid that you're now surplus to requirement
Unfortunately, we will have to keep you silent
You'll find our severance package gets a little violent!

[Chorus, Helpy]
Welcome to the Fazbear family!
Clean family fun! (With some tragedy)
You've sunk your savings, they'll sink their teeth
Into a juicy slice! (Or a lobotomy)
Who's scared of a little liability?
Health and safety? More of a luxury
You've got a lot to learn, so if it's unclear
Just know the crusts aren’t all that's getting stuffed here~!

[Outro: Molten Freddy, spoken]
Hoo hoo! Is it getting hot in here, or is it j-j-just me?