[Intro]
Seems a lot of rappers like to rap about how good they're at rapping
I'm not that good at rapping
And I'd hate to be dishonest with you

[Verse 1]
So
Hip hop is a new hobby I've found
It's great! But there's only one part that leaves me confounded
One thing that splits me from a proper rapper
And that's a lack of grasp on the subject matter
I can't rap about bitches and hoes
Riches and clothes
Beating up and leaving in stitches in foes
'Cause I've no knowledge of those
And it's a problem, I know!
'Cause it seems that they're the themes
That rappers go to for prose
So all I'm left with is to bolster my own ego
But I don't think that's really for me though
Seems the easy way for rap today is just to claim to be pro
I'd clearly be lying trying to make you believe so

[Chorus]
I'm just an amateur wordsmith
You'll be indifferent the instant you've heard it
When I'm finished you'll be wishing you'd skipped the track
So here's three minutes you won't get back
[Verse 2]
I can't sing of bling
'Cause I don't got a lot
One gold chain, I'm afraid it's on a pocket watch
Disgusting numbers of cufflinks to top it off
My sleeves hold together better than the clever rhymes I drop
But if you need a dapper rapper I'm your man G
I'm going wild across the board, Jumanji
And I'm aware that there's a fair few better than me
But if if I'm not your first choice
I'll be your plan B
So hit skip if I ain't taking your fancy
'Cause I'm pretty quick but I ain't breaking the land speed
Oh, you've got plan B?
Well make it plan C!
I'll just have to join the Q like John De Lancie
May not have seen me but I'm nothing you ain't heard before
Green on the mic, but no I'm not a herbivore
Though you'll often find me leafing through a damn thesaurus
Acceptable, Adeque, Average, nothing more

[Chorus]
I'm just an amateur wordsmith
You'll be indifferent the instant you've heard it
When I'm finished you'll be wishing you'd skipped the track
So here's three minutes you won't get back
[Verse 3]
My biggest accomplishments are a far cry from the raps I cook
And no condiments can mask the taste or ghastly looks
So if we're honest I should really get my taxi booked
No use fishing for compliments
My lines are lacking catchy hooks
I gotta face the facts, this act just wasn't meant to be
When I drop the mic, half the time it's accidently
Street credit? I've maxed my overdraft
And if I'm making paper it's strictly arts and crafts
Cashing in on urban culture like a greedy ogre
Fashion sense the whitest thing you've seen since grecian togas
Rehash the arts and crafts analogy to see me over
The only pigment that I'm packing here is medi-ochre

[Chorus]
I'm just an amateur wordsmith
You'll be indifferent the instant you've heard it
When I'm finished you'll be wishing you'd skipped the track
So here's three minutes you won't get back

[Verse 4]
My rhyming couplets can't be as bad as some you've heard
I take a lot of care in pairing up the funny words
50% of the time it's a 90 attempt at a rhyme
The other half it's not
My skill with similes is something that I haven't mastered
It's like a pileup on the freeway, I'm slowly moving past it
And now you've heard my way with words in the last bit
Let's see how I handle the obligatory fast bit
[Verse 5]
I'm just an average kid from the south
Less spitting, more running off the mouth
Screwing the musical stew I've been brewing
I'm chewing up tunes and then spewing them out
Failing at fame, I am fairly forgettable
Pointless in putting me up on a pedestal
Unless you're conical hat with a d on it
Comically bombing my raps as illegible
Trying to tackle more than I can handle
Wannabe wishing he's wasky or Dan Bull
Clearly my crappiness can't hold a candle
If I'm the shit then I'm straight for the landfill
And if I'm looking to lengthen my lyrics it
Always look lovely if lines are alliterative
Lining up letters, while lyrically gimmicky
Lands the illusion your skills are unlimited
But looking for the lines that alliterate wittily
Can leave you lost in the leaves of a dictionary
Logging a litany of logical liberties
Letting the lemons elope in your limousine
Luring the listeners to love your display
Leading to likes on the link on your page
It's just a lousy loophole I leverage
To tell you the truth it's just easier to say

[Verse 6]
Blimey
You're still here?
Wow
Didn't think you'd make it up to when I slowed down
Thanks for humouring my stupor of a flow
You've been super and I know that you all wanna go now
I appreciate I've kept you for some time
Without a reference to titties or gun crime
And though it hit most of the beats, I knocked out some rhymes
Sorry to say it doesn't end with the punchline...