[Intro]
Welcome to the Stupendium Home Shopping Network!
Your one stop shop-

Everyday, I imagine a future where I could look this good
You could have the ladies saying "okie-dokie" in this stylish ensemble
Don't leave them hanging boy!

Go directly to fabulous!
Make every night 'Games Night' with this colorful getup!

Heave ho!
You won't need a Shelter from the Storm in this coat!

You'll be top of a class in this!

Cocktail coates are a freeze!

[Chorus]
Would you like to by my merchandise?
It's rather nice
In a range of size for a decent price

It's my merchandise, it's rather nice!
So improve your life
For low, low price of my merch
[Verse 1]
Well the channel's been accelerating lately
With hundreds of you subbing on the daily
I couldn't be more grateful, it's honestly amazing
And a whole bunch of you asked me to create these
Rather tasteful face tees, well it's kinda crazy
To think you'd like my stuff enough that you would pay me
To help support all of the content I'm creating
So let's explore the catalog of products I'm curating
Let's start with this simplest tee, It's a classic, pure simplicity
Turn it around and on the back, it's also printed, see?
It's a staple of any merch store
And I've researched four!
But not exactly what I'd wear when Nan would visit me
Oh no, you'll want something formal, something subtler
Like a polo, a fancy shirt without the fussy cuff stuff
And you'll see that we've employed some pretty neat embroiderys
So if your Nan is visiting, the needlework will stun her
Or perhaps you want some merch that shows the logo more than polos will?
Oho! Well! Meet the shirt I call 'All over Overkill!'
Near 200 faces on! (And I should know, I placed them on)
If you want dedication then here's the one that fits the bill

[Chorus]
Buy my merchandise!
It's rather nice
In a range of size for a decent price
It's my merchandise, it's rather nice
So improve your life
For low, low price of my merch

[Verse 2]
But there's more left to see!
No, don't forget accessories!
So don't go yet because I bet you'll impressed with these
It's seems a mug's another tuber merchandise necessity
But black mug weren't an opinion so I opted for this emblem, see?
To cap it off we've hats of course to slap of your noggin
Need a snapback for your hat rack? Well perhaps the one I'm stocking?
I was honestly ecstatic that they manufactured orange
And there's a logo on the back so you've a stack of jaunty options
See initially, I wasn't even gonna do a beanie
But then everybody told me they would rather have a beanie
But instead of going back upon the cap I just completed
I just went and did a beanie as well

[Chorus]
Would you like to by my merchandise?
And every second it's not selling, a person dies!

It's my merchandise, it's rather nice!
So save a life
For low, low price of my merch
[Verse 3]
I hear you typing, griping 'Stupes is just a sell out!'
Well these are made to order so they oughta' never sell out!
Making videos can be expensive, get the hell out!
Spent a hundred quid on boxes just to flesh this flipping set out!
They're all in one theme but they're all really comfy
And if you buy enough then maybe I can buy a Humvee
Maybe it could fund me to see another country
But whilst you're sat at home know that you'll be looking lovely
In Stupendium undies, socks and crocs and dungarees
Cuddly plush toys, sun umbrellas and a onesie
Though in honesty the profits aren't much - these
Might help me make my videos a little more than monthly
I want to thank you all for all of the support, it's awesome
Pouring out on every morsel I've recorded
But if we hit December and nobody went and bought it
At least my family members have their Christmas presents sorted
Would you like to buy my merchandise?

[Someone:]
Uhmm, Not really something i could see myself buying...

[Stupendium:]
Oh ok I'm sorry-

Would you like to buy my merchandise?

[Someone:]
Yeah, this is the best merch I've ever bought

[The Stupendium]
Seventeen... holy shi....

[Someone:]
I love stupendium merchandise and that is my genuine opinion

[Dan Bull:]
I wholeheartedly endorse this product and/or products

[The Stupendium:]
Click the link to buy my merchandise!
You know you want to buy my merchandise
Oh and if you haven't yet, hit subscribe!
Come on, buy my merch...
Please...

(Ah no pressure though seriously...)