The Stupendium
The Day That You Die
[Narrator]
Misfortune, every choice has consequences
And in this game, there's really just one rule:
That you play until the end once it commences

[Misfortune]
If I win, then you will give me something cool?

[Narrator]
Yes!
Complete my game, and yes, you'll be rewarded:
Eternal happiness, my dear, will be your prize
Keep this part of the down-low, but what Misfortune doesn't know is that
Today is the day... the day that she dies!

[Misfortune]
I can hear you, you know

[Narrator]
Oh! I was just, uh, talking with myself

[Misfortune]
About me dying?

[Narrator]
Of course not. I was just about to tell you that the first part of the game is to leave your room
[Misfortune]
Okay, but can I bring a toy?

[Narrator]
I don't see why not. Which would you like?

[Narrator]
The first part of our game is rather simple
Just cross this road and reach the other side
A piece of cake for someone young and nimble

[Misfortune]
But Mr. Voice, you said today I died?

[Narrator]
Oh and, uh...
Quiet! There's a fox ahead, Misfortune
A fox cannot be trusted, so says I
Observe his evil regimen

[Misfortune]
I think his name is Benjamin!

[Narrator]
Well, this is the day... the day that he di-
[Misfortune]
Hi Benjamin!

[Narrator]
What are you doing?

[Misfortune]
You look very handsome... Benjamin, no! Come back!

[Narrator]
Misfortune, you must stay away from that fox! He is not to be trusted!

[Misfortune]
Okay...

[Narrator]
Now buried here you'll find eternal happiness
Hidden in a tiny, golden box

[Misfortune]
Oh no! I only found a lot of crappiness!

[Narrator]
It seems the prize was stolen by that fox!
Here, use this fox repellant, and when we find him
You can spray his nasty face, straight in the eye
[Misfortune]
But I do not want to hurt him-

[Narrator]
There he is! Go on and squirt him
Or today is the day... the day that you die!

[Misfortune]
Ouch! Benjamin got me!

[Narrator]
Misfortune, you aimed the wrong way!

[Misfortune]
Oh, Benjamin! Your paws are so soft

[Narrator]
Stop touching him!

[Misfortune]
No. Benjamin loves me! I don't want to play your game anymore!

[Narrator]
You don't get a choice! Now, spray that fox and take eternal happiness!

[Misfortune]
Benjamin and I are going home!

[Narrator]
So, you're breaking the rules then? I don't think so!
You haven't reached the ending yet, Misfortune!
There's still a lot of fun we haven't had!
I don't accept surrender or abortion
And you attitude has frankly made me mad!

That fox cannot protect you for forever
And I will not be defeated or defied!
So come back and play my game or I avow by Heaven's name
That, yes, today is the day... the day you will die!

[Misfortune]
Hurry, Benjamin! Inside! Mommy? Hello? Where is everybody?

[Narrator]
I'm still here!

[Misfortune]
Go away! I don't want to play with you!

[Narrator]
Knock knock!
Knock knock!
Knock knock! (Today is the day-)
Knock knock! (-that you die!)

Knock knock!
Knock knock!
Knock knock! (Today is the day-)
Knock knock! (-that you die!)

Knock knock!
Knock knock! (Today is the day-)
Knock knock!
Knock knock! (-that you-)

Knock knock! (Die!)
Knock knock!
Knock knock!
Knock knock!