The Stupendium
You’ve Been Cancelled
[Verse 1]
These days everybody's getting cancelled
Every day I look at news there's another new scandal
Another YouTuber who abused a younger fan
Or introduced loot boxes to kids to gamble
Whose Ku Klux Klan's fan club has just been found, fool
They ought to know better
They just brought about their own downfall
So now they're snuffed out of all society like candles
'Cause after all it's important that we make an example
Anybody damaging morality will damn well be deplatformed
Drag them off the dance floor, kick them out the back door
And if they're asking, "Whatchu do that for?"
Then tell them sweetly darling sweetie you've been cancelled

[Chorus]
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
Get to the back of the queue
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
Everybody's laughing at you

[Verse 2]
I'm dropping Roseanne Barrs, go incredibly hard
I'm aiming straight like James Charles or Jeffree Star
Seducing Jeremy Kyle, his telly's terribly vile
And Michael Jackson might have actually been a pedo-phi-phile
Add to the file with R. Kelly, ah well, he had it coming
But why does no one care
Louis Walsh can grab a woman by the bum on telly?
Like it's something socially acceptable
I hope I never see Louis C.K. showing me his testicles
Stop it, Harvey Weinstein, God, she's only nineteen
Why have we got to be like this?
Why's Bill Cosby got to spike drinks?
Maybe, just don't? It's obvious you might think
Plus we need to stop these twinky vloggers wearing light pink
[Chorus]
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
It must be something you did
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
So pick up a shovel and dig

[Verse 3]
(Ayy)
It's a sport now, try and take them down in one go
Heidi, hi, Tati, bye, Tana Mongeau
But if the court of public opinion is so valid
Why're we less interested in Xi Jinping than in ProJared?
Hey, that's a heavy case Kevin Spacey might be facing
For participating in the hate against poor Trisha Paytas
She's been painted and portrayed as vicious and manipulating
And so has H3H3, maybe stop reciprocating
All of this Twitter debating's making me twitchy and shaking
Flagrantly gesticulating, mate, my brain is fricking aching
I'm in distress, and while I'm in this dress, I'm no damsel
Mess with me and you'll be so so cancelled

[Chorus]
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
Get to the back of the queue
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
Everybody's laughing at you
[Verse 4]
These days everybody's getting cancelled
I didn't finish that list of them, I had to stop, it made my hands sore
We've got our hands full remembering
What they've been banned for
It could be for decades of depravity, and or
Expressing an opinion that Twitter couldn't stand for
Like racism or claiming it's okay to sock and sandal
But if you're going to ostracise somebody then be damn sure
It's justified, proportionate and the proof of it's substantial
What I'm saying's these days everything is circumstantial
With crowd mentality, everyone gets trampled
Now stand tall with your back against the damn wall
Any last words? Ahh, too bad, you're cancelled!

[Chorus]
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
It must be something you did
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
So pick up a shovel and dig

[Verse 5]
These days everybody's getting cancelled
Who's going down next? Place your bets for the grand draw
Look into my glass ball and let's make a bet
On the next cancel casualties, press F to pay respects
They'll cancel Dr. Disrespect for working with Gillette
Cancel the Chainsmokers for smoking a cigarette
Cancel David Attenborough, touching badgers inappropriately
Markiplier, prowling round the park at night and poking people
They'll cancel Kanye West for towing to the Trump line
They'll cancel PewDiePie, it had to happen some time
You know who I find problematic? Nigel Mansell
For no reason other than that it rhymes with cancelled
[Chorus]
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
Get to the back of the queue
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
Everybody's laughing at you
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
It must be something you did
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
You've been cancelled
So pick up a shovel and dig

[Outro]
These days everybody's getting cancelled
Any time you open your mouth now, it's a gamble
Course you've got free speech, be thankful you can talk
But keep it P.C. or you're about to get your ads pulled
Jabba the Zuck'll drop you down to meet the rancor
Anyway, I can't say I've got my hands full
There's a problematic toxic patriarchy to dismantle
Your sincerely and dearly, Dan Bull