[Intro]
Sorry, where was I? Ah, yes...

[Verse 1]
They say of the fable that businessmen croon
That dog may eat dog but he pays the raccoon
Filling up the coffers, billing up the otters, watching them squirm
Yes, lions and tigers and bears owe my firm
I've made mountains from founding these half-finished villages
Run-down little towns that I fill up with idiots
Declare one the Mayor, flair their ego a little bit
Charge them with fixing it then charge for the privilege
You buy land at a high deposit when I drop profitable hovels on it
Each island is like a wallet ‘cause
I got the whole place in my pocket
You crank the land value with every little bit of spit and polish
If I get a better tenant than you
Well, thank you! Everything’s demolished
It's about time I took some more payments from your good selves
I'm just balancing the books
But I'm still waiting on the bookshelves
You promised you'd build me once you'd patched the fence
Don't like it? Then bill me, I'll just add it to the rent

[Chorus]
Never seen a game so twee but there's administration fees
For this little haven we chiselled from complacency
And we pay it gratefully, slaving every day for the
Price tag attached to the back of our New Horizon
[Verse 2]
Raccoon in a tie that racked up a tycoon
Can't handle my mess? You'd best stick with Splatoon
You'll be knee-deep in seashells before we hit noon
And that's hardly a dent in the debt you've accrued
You may wonder why we keep moving around
The houses you buy aren't that structurally sound
A few years will lapse, they collapse to the ground
And these suckers cough up for another new town!
You call me amoral? Is that what you think?
Well, at least I’ve not driven my assistant to drink
Poor, dear, little Isabelle is caught in a living Hell
It's fishing and yard work, not building a citadel
Overworked, underpaid, that poor little Shih Tzu
Managing a bunch of animals, I guess it really is a-
I guess you see the pun there
Some Mayor you turned out to be, if I do say so
How fitting, in a town full of critters
That the only human is the scapegoat

[Chorus]
Never seen a game so twee but there's administration fees
For this little haven we chiselled from complacency
And we pay it gratefully, slaving every day for the
Price tag attached to the back of our New Horizon
[Bridge]
Extortion has seldom been so inoffensive
No matter the tax and whatever the rent is
They flock and they herd just to pay their expenses
With no picket lines 'cept a few garden fences
Read between the lines and you might find the margins
So, eat up the jargon, don’t argue the bargains
Or I’ll add a "No Pets" clause, it wouldn’t be hard and
I’ll have every resident live in the garden

[Chorus]
Never seen a game so twee but there's administration fees
For this little haven we chiselled from complacency
And you pay it gratefully, slaving every day for the
Price tag I've slapped on the back of your New Horizon

[Outro]
Right, rent's due
And I think you owe me some nuts or fruit or fish or something