The Stupendium
Christmas Cypher
[Verse 1: The Grinch (Connor Quest!)]
The who's that live in Whoville, I simply cannot stand
As they sing and they dance and they spring and they prance
I'll leave Christmas in shams, steal their tinsel and their hams
I'll withold their whole Holiday in the palm of my hand
My one gift to thee it will be an eternity of pure misery
Termites in my pearly whites, my hygiene was never really deemed a priority
Cindy Loo tries to change me, show me a newly opening door
And I'd love to go I would but I've got self-loathing at four
[Verse 2: Rudolph (Baker The Legend)]
Reindeer number nine, I'm known as Rudolph
They looked down on me 'til I rose to the top
And Santa know it wouldn't be the same without me
Only reindeer with my own song and movie
And my name is Rudolph, I'm from the North Pole
I'm flying through the air, bringing presents to your home
Do not think I'm soft cause I got a red nose
The leader of them all but the youngest that was chose
[Verse 3: Jack Frost (NightBreaker)]
Do you like snow? Man, that stuff is something scary
Hypothermia is childs play and it is nothing near me
Tear your heart out, chew it up, how is that for Frostbite?
Feeding on the kiddos, you thought Santa was a boss? Psych!
Running? You're hilarious, if I catch up I'm tearing ya
Into pieces a bear ain't got nothing on me I'm serious
Ain't a joke I'm a demon, evil spirit flows within me
Best hope Cringle's only guy who descends down your chimney
[Verse 4: Ebernezer Scrooge (The Stupendium)]
You come to darken my doorway with wreath and with wine
You can keep Christmas in your way, I'll keep it in mine
Did you think Uncle Ebernezer would still his quill, have a knees up?
This season is no reason currency should sieze and freeze up
And there no work houses, prisons, for your occupation?
You'd rather die? Please! Descrease the surplus population
I don't need Christmas spirits, those bells don't pay their toll
I'd keep on spitting fire but I won't spare the coal
[Verse 5: Krampus (Ninethie)]
It's that time of year where children smile and cheer
But no smiles will be seen while I am drawing near
Deck the halls with entrails, enthral the frail
No coal in your stocking, blood clot coughing, during horrified wails
It ain't Saint Nick landing on your roof
But the greatest of all time getting on a hoof
Clippity clack, you've been bad, grabbed and bagged into a sack
You'll get more than a cramp when you end up as Krampus's snack, stat