The Stupendium
A Pizza The Action
[Intro, spoken: RambunctiousVA]
'Gregory... It looks like you are trapped here in the PizzaPlex until morning... To survive the night you are going to need a kick-ass 80s action anthem... That is not a show program I can provide... But... There is someone who can...'
[Verse 1: The Stupendium]
So you’re trapped after dark in the park and you’re tasked with surviving the night
So your ma and your pa have departed the party and left you to fight
So hang tight, to the tickets you’ve won, and your toy laser gun
Set your Faz-Watch to ‘fun’
‘Cause it’s hide and seek hunted by musical monsters
Ain’t that what you wanted?
You came for some games and a bite
The doors have all closed but the stage has been set
So on with the show, no escaping it yet
The night is still young and the fun’s just begun
You’ve been played like your grave of arcade cabinets
[Pre-Chorus: The Stupendium, Cami-Cat]
When you’ve gates stormed by gators and wolves at the door
When the power is down, you can’t bear any more
When each tick of the clock has you checking your watch
And the chicken is watching you hungry for gore
Oh, the fun that’s in store!
(Oh, the fun that’s in store!)
[Chorus: The Stupendium]
Come get a pizza the action
You want a pizza the action
A tasty pizza the action
You want a pizza the action
[Verse 2: The Stupendium with Cami-Cat]
So come pick your destiny off of the menu
(Fate won’t wait ‘til the sun comes up)
Or be laid to rest in your favorite venue
(Arcade to arcade, crust to crust)
In this amusement park you are the superstar
We know that you’ll go far but you must choose your path
Those neon tubes cast shadows on a truth so dark
It’s up to you to battle to its putrid heart
So savor the taste of your last pepperoni
(You’ve got a party pass to a backstage tour)
‘Cause you’re taking the stage for one night only
(But will dawn chorus be your encore?)
[Bridge: The Stupendium]
Perhaps it’s your birthday? Or your graduation?
We’re always the first place for a celebration
Now maybe you’ve heard say, of some violations
But it’s not since Thursday we’ve had strangulations
The go-karts are revved and the ball pit’s been cleaned
Montgomery’s ready to tear up the scene
Roxy’s got the rock that’s just got to be seen
Just as soon as Chica’s cleaned out the canteen
Hear the cry of the fans as we strike up the band
Now the time is at hand for the tightest of jams
‘Cause it’s tiny and cramped where you’re hiding but Vanny
Won’t find you when crammed inside our leading man
[Pre-Chorus: The Stupendium, Cami-Cat]
When you’ve gates stormed by gators and wolves at the door
When the power is down, you can’t bear any more
When the sun’s gone away but the moon’s come to play
A more punishing game till the break of the dawn
Oh, the fun that’s in store!
(Oh, the fun that’s in store!)
[Chorus: The Stupendium]
Come get a pizza the action
You want a pizza the action
A tasty pizza the action
You want a pizza the action
[Interlude, spoken: The Stupendium]
Darkness falls across the mall, and metal mascots stalk the halls
More murderous with each defect and out to prowl the PizzaPlex
And whomsoever shall be found by S.T.A.F.F Bot hoards that roll around
Must then escape the bunny’s wrath or rot inside a stomach hatch
The air is filled with pungent reek of robots oiled in pizza grease
And terrors bathed in neon light, are on the hunt to grab a bite
For no amount of birthday cake, piñatas, games or fanfare
Will help a lonely child survive the night at Freddy Fazbear’s
[Outro: The Stupendium]
*Laughter*
(A tasty pizza the action)
*Laughter*
(Come get a pizza the action...)