[ADAM, in falsetto]
Women gotta stick together
Each and every day
Women gotta stick together
In each and every way

Females helping females
For the greater good
Sisters helpin' sisters
That’s called sisterhood!

Women have the power—
The power to make a change
Like this girl should pluck her eyebrows
And those jeans should be exchanged

(spoken)
You really need to size up. 

(sung)
Some girls are born tall and thin
And some are short and fat
This girl smells like sausages
But there's nothing wrong with that!

Women gotta stick together
All across this land
Except Denise Martinez
That bitch I cannot stand
(spoken)
Oh, hey, Denise!
Hey, girl!

(sung)
Females helpin' females
Like this girl here with the crooked bangs

(spoken)
And speaking of bangs—

(sung)
She banged her best friend's boyfriend
In the bathroom at PF Chang's

(spoken)
What?
Oh, you didn’t know? Sorry...

(sung)
So let’s all spread this message
Like Caitlin spreads disease
'Cause a change is coming faster
Than Ashley drops to her knees
Together we can clear these hurdles
If Marissa ever gets in shape
We can climb every mountain
If the rope can support Haley’s weight
Women gotta stick together
Do everything we can
So if some weird troll named Rebecca moves here from New York and is all up on my boyfriend
I’m gonna... lend her a helping hand

Women gotta stick together
And tell each other the truth—
The truth is you're all fat sluts
And that's called sisterhood