[Produced by Slick Rick]

[Intro]
(Now here's a little something that needs to be heard)
Uncle Ricky, could you read us a bedtime story?
Please, huh, please?
All right, you kids get to bed, I'll get the storybook
Y'all tucked in? Yeah
Here we go

[Verse]
Once upon a time not long ago
When people wore pajamas and lived life slow
When laws were stern and justice stood
And people were behavin' like they ought to good
There lived a little boy who was misled
By another little boy and this is what he said
"Me and you, tonight we're gonna make some cash
Robbin' old folks and makin' the dash"
They did the job, money came with ease
But one couldn't stop, it's like he had a disease
He robbed another and another and a sister and a brother
Tried to rob a man who was a D.T. undercover
The cop grabbed his arm, he started acting erratic
He said, "Keep still, boy, no need for static"
Punched him in his belly and he gave him a slap
But little did he know the little boy was strapped
The kid pulled out a gun, he said, "Why'd you hit me?"
The barrel was set straight for the cop's kidney
The cop got scared, the kid, he starts to figure
"I'll do years if I pull this trigger"
So he cold dashed and ran around the block
Cop radios in to another lady cop
He ran by a tree, there he saw this sister
Shot for the head, he shot back but he missed her
Looked 'round good and from expectations
So he decided he'd head for the subway stations
But she was coming and he made a left
He was runnin' top speed 'til he was outta breath
Knocked an old man down and swore he killed him (Sorry)
Then he made his move to an abandoned building
Ran up the stairs up to the top floor
Opened up the door there, guess who he saw? (Who?)
Dave, the dope fiend shootin' dope
Who don't know the meaning of water nor soap
He said, "I need bullets, hurry up, run"
The dope fiend brought back a spanking shotgun
He went outside but there was cops all over
Then he dipped into a car, a stolen Nova
Raced up the block doing eighty-three
Crashed into a tree near university
Escaped alive though the car was battered
Rat-a-tat-tatted and all the cops scattered
Ran out of bullets and he still had static
Grabbed a pregnant lady and pulled out the automatic
Pointed at her head, he said the gun was full of lead
He told the cops, "Back off or honey here is dead"
Deep in his heart he knew he was wrong
So he let the lady go and he starts to run on (Uh-huh)
Sirens sounded, he seemed astounded
And before long the little boy got surrounded
He dropped his gun, so went the glory
And this is the way I have to end this story
He was only seventeen, in a madman's dream
The cops shot the kid, I still hear him scream
This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh (Uh-huh)
Just another case about the wrong path (Uh-huh)
Straight and narrow or your soul gets cast
Good night
[Outro]
(Knock him out the box, Rick
Knock him out, Rick)
- Oh boy, that Uncle Ricky is really weird
- I know right what does he mean
“Straight and narrow or yo’ soul gets cast"?
- I don’t know, I think he be crackin' it up or something
- Well, good night
- Good night
Another, Vance Wright! Rick the Ruler presentation
Crumbs!