[Intro]
Are you frightened by the weight you possess or
Is this life just weightlessness?
And smoggy twilight in LA
I can't think of one real thing to say
And you and me are walking in the canyons
She forgets that we were friends
I guess it all depends on your mood
Why can't these meds be any damn good?

[Verse 1]
And she said, "Why can't you be
Like my waterpik shower massager?
A sweet reliable machine
And to tell the truth I don't feel less alone
My water massager's the purest love
I've ever known
Why can't you be
Like when I was thirteen?"

[Verse 2]
And I said, "Why can't you be
Like an art house foreign movie?
Frank and sexy, red balloons and ennui
And aloof to me, and
Why can't you be
A little more of a mystery?"
[Chorus]
Why can't you be
The part of me that's missing?
Instead of leaving me for some other
Say we're perfect for each other
And I know we won't spend this life alone

[Verse 3]
And she said, "But why can't you be
Like an outsourced government contract?
I'm a fat cat getting away with anything
Kicking some secret special powers
Illumination rounds in showers
'Cause you're tearin' your hair out
While we can have a bed of flowers"

[Verse 4]
And I said, "Well why can't you be
Like the chicks out on the road?
Some girls are happy just to see me
'Cause you got moxie and a broken nose
You take 'em away from this prose
Sometimes a blowjob's not enough
Why can't you play
A little less rough?"
[Chorus]
Why can't you be
The part of me that's missing?
Instead of leaving me for some other
Say we're perfect for each other
And I know we won't go spend this life alone

[Bridge]
Can we
Just leave it be?
We can live
Our lives separately
Could you forget what happens to you
To you and me?
When we're dead, and we'll be dead
We'll have eternity
And I will spend it all, missing you
Missin' you and me
So while I'm alive
I will always be
Seekin' you out, diggin' you out, wonderin' about
How we go so far down
And what's wrong with you
What's wrong with you and me?

[Verse 5]
And she said, "Why can't you be
Someone looking deeper into me?
Like JD Salinger
Why do I challenge her
In all these surface ways that you displease?
Why can't you be
A little more at ease?
Well, why can't you be
Like a hand rolled cigarette, I'm not joking
This masochistic self-pity of smoking
And this city ditty, I keep provokin' you to leave me"
[Outro]
And she said, "Why can't you be
Like a candle I can snuff?
You're still the diamond in the rough
And I swear to God I've had enough
How can I call your bluff?"