[Verse 1: Stephan Jenkins]
They call it KFC
'Cause its not really chicken
Hot Cheetos for breakfast
Make a young student sick
And did you ever think someone's tricking you?
And the guy in the pulpit is a bigot and alas
Some kid walks into my school and opens fire
Heard any good jokes lately?
'Cause we sure do need 'em
My punk band's called Operation Iraqi Freedom

[Chorus: Stephan Jenkins]
So what's it gonna be?
Are you real to me?
Or are you non-dairy creamer?

[Verse 2: Stephan Jenkins]
A new love is burning up for me
'Cause one in four American girls has an STD
And you can buy yourself some implants
But you can't buy a soul that never launched
With your chest popped out
What are you so afraid about?
With your chest popped out
What are you so afraid about?
What are you so afraid of?
What are you so afraid of?
[Chorus: Stephan Jenkins]
What's it gonna be?
Are you real to me?
Or are you non-dairy creamer?

[Verse 3: Stephan Jenkins]
And two gay guys got married
That brought the family to its knees
How did they blow this to smithereens?
Just a couple of queens
How did they do it I'll tell you now
They brought marriage to an end
And I found myself some culprits
It's two young gay Republicans
Young gay Republicans
Young gay Republicans
Young gay Republicans

[Chorus: Stephan Jenkins]
What's it gonna be?
Are you real to me?
Or are you non-dairy creamer?
What's it gonna be?
Are you real to me?
Or are you non-dairy creamer?
[Outro: Stephan Jenkins]
Mission accomplished
Mission accomplished
Mission accomplished
Mission accomplished