[Instrumental]

[Verse 1: Wander]
Oh...
It's your happy birthday
Here's your happy birthday song
And on your happy birthday
Nothing can go wrong

I can tell that you're all grumpy
'Cause you've been around a while
Just because you're old and frumpy
Doesn't mean you shouldn't smile
Because...

It's your happy birthday
Here's your happy birthday song
And your birthday best be happy
'Cause you won't be around for long!

[Instrumental]

[Verse 2: Wander, Sylvia, & The Watchdogs]
So, try not to be so sad
'Bout your impending doom
Someday, we'll light birthday candles
On your frigid tomb
Oh...
It's your happy birthday
Here's your happy birthday song
And your birthday won't be happy
'Till you all sing along!
Everybody!

Oh...
It's your happy birthday
Here's your happy birthday song
Just the pit monster!

[Everyone:]
I can tell that you're all grumpy
'Cause you've been around for a while
Just because you're old and frumpy doesn't...

[Wander & Sylvia:]
Mean you shouldn't...

[Wander:]
What's that I see? Ohhhhhhh...!!!

[Wander & Sylvia:]
Smile!
[Instrumental]

[Wander:]
Happy birthday, Hater!