[Spoken]
I am starting to wonder
If I am
Attracted to abusive people
At the very least these people keep finding me
I guess it could be coincidence, but I don't think it is
I think I go looking for them
I think I part of me wants this
I think that part of me wants
Strict rules
A relationship
Based
On my ability to adhere to protocol
Explicit pass/fail criteria
With no grey areas
Hoops of fires to jump through
Long nights of screaming, and crying, and
The peace
The calm that comes after
I don't want you to respect or value me for
Who I am, that is not special
Anyone can do that
I want you to want
More from me than that
I want you to want more from me than me
I want someone who will treat me like I treat myself
I want conditional love
And if you refuse to be this person
If you say, "Not me, I couldn't do that"
That's okay
But if you are willing to learn
Then I can teach you