Last winter blew so cold no lies
And my fire smoke would not rise
Soon as the smoke tried to depart
It'd be frozed up harder than a landlord's heart

Now I called up the police, yes, and they came around
Three days later and very brought down
Sergeant, he gave me this hysterical croak
Says, "What do you think you have going here, some kind of joke?" (of course I wasn't laughing)

He says, "You're causing us officers so much grief
Why don't you give us some relief?
Why don't you call the fire brigade?
Or maybe why don't you try shovelling the smoke up the chimney with a spade."

Now, I borrowed a spade from the woman next door
And I broke up the smoke that remained on the floor
I was shovelling away, 'till the closing of day and singing a smoke-shovelling song

After working so hard I went out to my yard
And I looked up to my chimney so long, (there was nothing to see there)
Just a thousand foot high, way into the sky
Was a pillar of smoke full of song

There was an airplane stuck in it
But I didn't notice at first it was so cunningly disguised as a dragon
Came the summer at last, though it was rainy and fast
The pillar it melted away
The airplane fell with a big smoky smell
And echoing around all over the town
Was the words of the smoke shovelling song

And anyone telling a bigger story would have to be telling a lie
And anyone think a bigger one up
Have to be very high