[Verse 1: Peach]
It's the Number One Peach
Killing beats and breaking hearts
So hot, I've got fuckers
Crashing their Mario Karts
The mainstay damsel
But I'm never stressing
I'll drop an elf bitch
Like my real game is Tekken
I'm trippin' off of toadstools
'Cuz we do it real big
You're robbing from the cradle
Messing with that little elf kid
I'm such a lady
Fight with grace to combat you
So don't it persona
When Peach bitchslaps you

[Verse 2: Zelda]
Oh look, It's Goldilocks
All grown up now
I love your pink dress
Excuse me while I go throw up now
Recognize
I'm part of Hyrule's royal Bloodline
And bitchеs' just be hatin'
'Cuz they're mad that I'm dumb finе
Oracles of Seasons
Winter to Summer
[I helped them]
And you can hate on Link
But you're dating a plumber
I'm unique and amazing
You're standard, like missionary
Check the main title of my game, bitch
I'm legendary
[Verse 3: Peach]
I may look sweet
But I'll flip the switch real quick
Bitches talking shit
Get hit with a high kick
I'll take off my gloves
And show you how this
Princess gets down
Nintendo's leading lady
Crack your skull with my gold crown
Long blonde hair and a frame
Like an hourglass
I can have all the guys in Mushroom Kingdom
Kick your ass
You'll rule for awhile
But my reign will be endless
You're an emo vampire
A Twilight Princess

[Verse 4: Zelda]
Any way you slice it
I still come out the winner
An hourglass figure
But you wish you were thinner
You're like an old school
I dunno-wannabee Barbie
And those Plumber brothers tag-teamed you
And called it Mario Party
The Tri-Force of Wisdom
But still shining on you all night
Magical abilities
But still cut you in a sword fight
I'll dress myself as Sheik
So tell your mushroom friends goodbye
I'll put a bitch to sleep
And call that shit
Zelda's Lullabye