Toby Marlow & Lucy Moss
Ex-Wives
[CATHERINE OF ARAGON]
Divorced

[ANNE BOLEYN]
Beheaded

[JANE SEYMOUR]
Died

[ANNA OF CLEVES]
Divorced

[KATHERINE HOWARD]
Beheaded

[CATHERINE PARR]
Survived

[CATHERINE OF ARAGON, spoken]
And tonight, we are…

[ALL]
Live!

[CATHERINE OF ARAGON]
Listen up, let me tell you a story
[ANNE BOLEYN]
A story that you think you've heard before

[JANE SEYMOUR]
We know you know our names
And our fame, and our faces

[ANNA OF CLEVES]
Know all about the glories
And the disgraces

[KATHERINE HOWARD]
I'm done, cos all this time
I've been just one word in a stupid rhyme

[CATHERINE PARR]
So I picked up a pen and a microphone

[ALL]
History's about to get overthrown

[CATHERINE OF ARAGON]
Divorced

[ANNE BOLEYN]
Beheaded
[JANE SEYMOUR]
Died

[ANNA OF CLEVES]
Divorced

[KATHERINE HOWARD]
Beheaded

[CATHERINE PARR]
Survived

[ALL]
But just for you tonight
We're divorced, beheaded, live!
Welcome to the show, to the histo-remix
Switching up the flow as we add the prefix
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
Raising up the roof till we hit the ceiling
Get ready for the truth that we'll be revealing
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
But now we're ex-wives

[CATHERINE OF ARAGON]
All you ever hear and read about
[ANNE BOLEYN]
Is our ex and the way it ended

[JANE SEYMOUR]
But a pair doesn't beat a royal flush

[ANNA OF CLEVES]
You're gonna find out how we got unfriended

[KATHERINE HOWARD]
Tonight we gonna do ourselves justice
Cos we're taking you to court

[CATHERINE PARR]
Every Tudor Rose has its thorns
And you're gonna hear 'em live in consort

[CATHERINE OF ARAGON]
Divorced

[ANNE BOLEYN]
Beheaded

[JANE SEYMOUR]
Died

[ANNA OF CLEVES]
Divorced

[KATHERINE HOWARD]
Beheaded

[CATHERINE PARR]
Survived

[ALL]
But just for you tonight
We're divorced, beheaded, live!
Welcome to the show, to the histo-remix
Switching up the flow as we add the prefix
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
Dancing to the beat till the break of day, once
We're done, we'll start again like it's the Renaissance
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
But now we're ex-wives
Divorced

[CATHERINE OF ARAGON]
My name is Catherine of Aragon
Was married twenty-four years, I'm a paragon
Of royalty, my loyalty is to the Vatican
So if you try to dump me
You won't try that again

[ALL]
Beheaded

[ANNE BOLEYN]
I'm that Boleyn girl
And I'm up next, see
I broke England from the Church
Yeah, I'm that sexy
Why did I lose my head?
Well, my sleeves may be green
But my lipstick's red

[ALL]
Died

[JANE SEYMOUR]
Jane Seymour, the only one he truly loved

[ALL, spoken]
Rude

[JANE SEYMOUR]
When my son was newly born, I died
But I'm not what I seem, or am I?
Stick around and you'll suddenly see more...

[ALL]
Divorced

[ANNA OF CLEVES]
Ich bin Anna of Cleves

[ALL]
Ja?

[ANNA OF CLEVES]
When he saw my portrait, he was like—

[ALL]
Ja!

[ANNA OF CLEVES]
But I didn't look as good as I did in my pic
Funny how we all discuss that
But never Henry's little pr-

[KATHERINE HOWARD]
Prick up your ears, I'm the Katherine
Who lost her head

[ALL]
Beheaded

[KATHERINE HOWARD]
For my promiscuity outside of wed
Lock up your husbands, lock up your sons
K-Howard is here and the fun's begun

[ALL]
Survived

[CATHERINE PARR]
Five down, I'm the final wife
I saw him to the end of his life
I'm the survivor- Catherine Parr
I bet you wanna know how I got this far...
I said, I bet you wanna know how we got this far
Hey!

[ALL]
Do you wanna know how we got this far?
Then welcome to the show, to the histo-remix
Switching up the flow as we add the prefix
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
Get your hands up, get this party buzzing
You want a queen bee? Well, there's half a dozen
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
But now we're ex-wives

One, two, three, four, five, six