[Intro: Tom DeLonge]
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro

[Verse 1: Mark Hoppus]
When you fucked grandpa
Did he tell you that he loved you?
Did he hold you 'til the sun did rise?
And did he look into your eyes
And ask you to fellate him
And stick a finger or two in his ass?

[Chorus: Mark Hoppus]
He seems like a total asshole
Grandpa is a total fucking asshole
Who would ever want a dirty, greasy finger in his ass?
He rubs his dick in broken glass

[Verse 2: Mark Hoppus]
When you fucked grandpa
Did he kiss you soft and tender?
Did he tie your hands behind your head
And was it on your mother's bed?

[Chorus: Mark Hoppus]
He seems like a total asshole
Grandpa is a total fucking asshole
Who would ever want a dirty, greasy finger in his ass?
He rubs his dick in broken glass
[Outro: Mark Hoppus]
This is fucking stupid, man, I can't believe you'd have sex with your own grandfather, I mean, you guys are related, what's he gonna do? Take out his false teeth and just leave them on the side of your bed? Man, you like to fuck him in the butt and have everyone come in and watch and masturbate and cum all over the place? This is stupid, I hate you all, I'm not even gonna have sex with my mom tonight, man, this is stupid! I hate you!