[Tex the Barker]
Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
Step right up and you will see on display a collection of some of the strangest specimens ever gathered together, both live and preserved!
You will see the incredible Jello Jack, the boneless boy and Herman, the Human Mole! You'll see Wanda, the Worm Woman and Mickey, the Mumbling Midget with his secret from far beyond the realm of human understanding! There's also Benny, Bouncing Benny the Bump, who can't wait to show you the eerie and shapeless mass which he hides beneath his hirt and shows only when he does his famous dance - the Bouncing Bump!
So, step this way, folks come on in, you know you can't resist! Come in and make your mundane lives look like the kiss of bliss...

[Chorus]
Everyone comes to the Freak Show
To laugh at the Freaks and the Geeks
Everyone comes to the Freak Show
But nobody laughs when they leave

[Mr. Skull]
Once a man exploded just before he went to sleep
When his wife awoke she found some fragments of his feet
She wondered what had happened but there was no mouth to say
Or lips to kiss or even any tears to wipe away
She went to see a priest and asked if death could be much worse
Than knowing what was left of love would fit inside her purse

[Tex]
Hurry, hurry, right this way, to the most disturbing collection of human oddities! I'm Tex, your host and guide!