[Intro]
Sometimes life is not so sweet
Sometimes, nothing works
Sometimes, I even understand conspiracy theories, as idiotic as they are, because sometimes it feels like life is working against you and it’s being so successful that somebody has to be responsible

[Verse 1]
Yeah, sometimes it feels like there’s a whole gang of them working against you, the fuckers
They’re too goddam chicken to take you on one at a time
So they hide away in their little rooms and plot and scheme and work like hell to bring you down
Stupid, isn’t it?
As if anybody cared enough about anybody else to waste their time formulating mindless conspiracies
Life is not that complicated, but it sure as shit doesn’t work sometimes
And that’s why God made alcohol
Especially bourbon

[Chorus]
Sometimes you sit upon the brink
Your mind consumed with pointless pink
And so you simply take a drink
And everything's okay

[Outro]
Sometimes your jolly johnson shrinks
And every mucous burger stinks
And so you simply take a drink
And everything's okay
Okay? Okay? Okay?