"Folks, I wrote this song last night. I'm gonna sing it now and dedicate it to all of millions of young American ladies, girls, and especially my 42-year-old baby sister, who've all died at the hands of one of these butchers"

Rusty coathangers for the doctor
Because he's been doing something he shouldn't utter
Hope he don't do it to his daughter
And if he does he better have a big bladder

The doctor, he's a wonderful fellow (fellow)
With his coathangers, he'll make you bellow (bellow)
You will squirm and you will wiggle (wiggle)
He'll take that thing right out of your middle (ohhh)

The doctor will open you like a can o' spam
He'll take your money and say "thank you, ma'am"
You'll bleed and bleed like a dying lamb
And to the ground, your a bike shall grim

The doctor, he's a wonderful fellow (fellow)
With his coathangers, he'll make you bellow (bellow)
You will squirm and you will wiggle (wiggle)
He'll take that thing right out of your middle (ohhh)

Ahhh, ahhh, middle