My baby left me and I feel so bad
I lost the best girl that I ever had
You ask me why I feel so blue
But you'd feel the same way if it happened to you

She didn't leave me on Monday
She didn't leave me on Tuesday
She didn't leave me on Wednesday
She didn't leave me on Thursday
She didn't leave me on Friday
She didn't leave me on Saturday
She went and left me on Trash Day
My baby left me on Trash Day
She went and left me on Trash Day

She didn't leave me on Monday
She didn't leave me on a Tuesday
She didn't leave me on no Wednesday, babe
She could have left me on a Thursday
No no no no, it was Trash Day
It was goddamn Trash Day
My baby left me on a Trash Day

And that's why I'm smellin' like a brewery, and I'm lookin' like a tramp
And I ain't got a quarter, I got a postage stamp
I got a five o'clock shadow boxin' all around the town
Talkin' with the old men sleepin' on the ground
Bazanti bootin' al zootin' al hoot and Al Cohn
And I'm sharin' this apartment with a telephone pole
Fishnet stockings and spike heel shoes
Strip tease, prick tease, car keys blues

Porno floor show, live n*** girls
Dreamy and creamy and brunette curls
Chesty Morgan and Watermelon Rose
Raisin' my rent, take off all your clothes

Because my baby left me and I feel so bad
I lost the best girl that I ever had
Go on and ask me why I feel so blue
You'd feel the same way if it happened to you

She could've left me on a Monday
She could've left me on a Tuesday
She could've left me on a Thursday
Or a Friday, or a Saturday
No, she went and left me on Trash Day
My baby left me on Trash Day
She went and left me on Trash Day

Trash Day
"Big John" Thomassie on the trash cans!
Oh, Trash Day
Trash Day
Trash Day
Goddamn Trash Day
Trash Day