We broke our backs to get here, and you didn’t say for what
You said this was important but it seems that it was not
You were rather vague on what this small liaison would entail-
But could you really not just put this in an email?

How we downed tools and rushed over at the mere drop of a hat
To satisfy your urge to have a cozy little chat
All full of pointless questioning but lacking in detail-
Could you really not just put this in an email?

Could you really not just put this in an email?
Could you really not just put this in an email?
Was it for the sense of drama that you called us to attend?
Somebody here is definitely not winning any friends

I’m sick of staying after hours, and early-morning starts
Of lengthy lunchtime lectures, staring gormlessly at charts
Being forced to rush my sandwich goes far beyond the pale
Could you really not just put this in an email?

The sense of self-importance that these merry meetings bring
Won’t justify the training sessions where nobody learns a thing
We’d like to ditch the role-plays and the meetings face-to-face
In favor of sitting at our desks perusing at our own sweet pace

If this is what it takes to keep the top brass satisfied
Tell them all of this box-ticking leaves one feeling dead inside
And we do not need a hook-up to discuss the paper trail-
Could you really not just put this in an email?
When you called us all together during a busy working week
Were you surprised at the eye-rolling when you stepped forward to speak?
It’s a sign of the disdain behind a thin and flimsy veil-
Could you really not just put this in an email?

Was the presentation needed just to keep us all on side?
Was anybody actually listening, or just reading from the slide?
It’s all the unrealistic targets we were all set up to fail-
Could you really not just put this in an email?

Could you really not just put this in an email?
Could you really not just put this in an email?
Can’t you see that we’re all busy trying to arrange
All the things you brought up last time that you said we had to change?

Are there any explanations for the sudden summonings?
Are there hidden revelations that the awkward silence brings?
If there are not, I propose that we this gathering derail
And for fuck’s sake please just put it in an email