[Chorus]
My facial hair is much admired
It causes folks to swoon
And sets their heats a fluttering
Each time I start to croon
I follow all the up to date
Tonsorial advice
And use all sorts of balms and oils
To keep it smelling nice

[Chorus]
My facial hair makes my jaw look strong
And hides my double chin
Though it can me make me look toothless if
I crack too wide a grin
It states that I'm intelligent
Mature, wise, and sincere
And I gain a second mustache when
I try to drink a beer

[Chorus]
My facial hair can be a pain
Although I love it so
It stops our lips from touching when
I try to kiss my bow
It can be hard to sip from spoons
And it may seen somewhat rude
That I attempt to hide my face
When eating messy food
[Chorus]
My partner loves my facial hair
And smiles at it with pride
The one time that I shaved it off
She looked quite horrified
She said my smooth and boyish face
Was just too much to bear
And if I shaved it off again
She'd leave me then and there