[Intro: Yoav Landau]
Da-da-da, da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da

[Verse 1: Sam Haft]
(Just one drink) Gonna keep it mellow
Responsible night for a polite fellow
Say hello to my friends and comrades
Don’t tend to offend so I say, "Perhaps"
(Just two drinks) As a social courtesy
We can raise a glass to our past fraternity
It's certainly a perfectly normal and formal get-together
But it’s been forever since we gathered so whatever
(Just three drinks) For the sake of the old times
Proceed with tequila shots with a dish full of cold limes
The whole nine
Laughing, remembering all the old lines
Never used to work but I could give 'em another try
(Just four drinks) Ya know, take the edge off
I've had a hard week, I deserve to get soft
Pick up another round as my friends depart, eh
They may not stick around but I just got started

[Chorus: Sam Haft]
Feel so much better than usual
I feel indisputable, oh
I think that I might be beautiful
[Verse 2: Sam Haft]
(Just five drinks) Fuckin' treat myself
Pour the Dom Perignon from the back of the top shelf
I spend like God, put on airs to sell it
Crowd pretends not to care, but I know they're jealous
(Just six drinks) Let slip the dogs of war
I'm gonna start a fuckin' riot 'til I'm tossed out the front door
Zero to sixty, I can turn on a dime
I'm hitting bottom and I'm feeling like committing a crime
(Just eight drinks) Maybe I've lost count?
I can’t remember the night, what I drank, or the amount
I’m fading in and out, my very consciousness is crumbling—
Sorry, was I saying something?
(Twelve drinks) Strolling out of the hospital
Is it hair of the dog if you stay drunk and don't stop at all?
Another night, losing it more than I can afford
Was I just feeling bored? Am I that insecure?

[Chorus: Sam Haft]
Feel so much better than usual
I feel indisputable, oh
But now I'm feeling so beautiful
Don’t wake me up from this spell I’m under
If I'm still breathing
I know that I will be ugly when
I feel like myself again, oh
But now I'm feeling so beautiful
[Breakdown: Sam Haft]
Bottle of Scotch served on the rocks with a shot of Cachaca
Vodka, Sake, Kamikaze with a handle of Sherry
A cherry Brandy with a Jaeger, Chaser, Champagne float
A Bourbon, hot Toddy in teacup of throat coat
Martini, Bellini, Negroni, Baileys, Kahlua, Sambuca
Soju, Paloma, Mojito, Gimlet, Frangelico, Guinness
Tequila, Manhattan, a Margarita, Old Fashioned
Dry Vermouth and something I can't taste 'cause I'm so trashed
Soldiering over, I'm slower, shoulder-to-shoulder with no one
Stumbling, sobering, making friends with a smoker
I know I'm less than upright, losing the fight with the ground
Then someone hits the lights as they close for the night now
I try to look at Heaven and I can't see the stars
A billion-trillion eyes are winking as I walk between parked cars
Metabolizing liquor while I'm losing my friends
I'm gonna hate myself tomorrow (Then I'll do it again)

[Interlude: Yoav Landau]
Da-da-da, da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da

[Chorus: Sam Haft]
Feel so much better than usual
I feel indisputable, oh
But now I'm feeling so beautiful
Don’t wake me up from this spell I'm under
If I'm still breathing
I know that I will be ugly when
I feel like myself again, oh
But now I’m feeling so beautiful
[Outro: Sam Haft]
My vision is blurry
As long as I'm thirsty
Nobody can hurt me, hurt me, hurt me