The Living Tombstone
Twilight Sparkle vs. The Great and Powerful Trixie
[Verse 1: Trixie]
They call me Trixie!
The master bitch of all magic spells!
You say your name is Twilight Sparkle?
That don't ring any bells!
I've slayed an Ursa Major!
All your feats are just minor!
I'll take you back to school, Twi
And show you who's the best rhymer
I've got crowds from everywhere
They come to see my magic!
My spells are straight electrifying!
I'm dropping gods, it's tragic!
So check yourself, you impudent foal
I'll make you stagger!
By the way, your horn looks kinda limp
Go and take some Viagra!
And while you're at it
Just put the books down, you freaking nerd!
You'd have to read to know how to breathe
You're fucking that absurd!
I thought the books were better than you!
Ed and Bella still got more class!
So just take a pass
Cause if you keep coming
Then Trixie will come beat your ass!
[Verse 2: Twilight]
Dear Princess Celestia
I learned this today:
Some mares like Trixie talk shit
What else can I say?
To make it worse
They're cocky, always leaving you sweatin'
But when they're talking like a bitch
Then go and teach them a lesson!
You say your spells are great and powerful?
I learned from the best!
You're just a washed up Vegas reject
Who failed her magic test!
I've got a dragon with wits
That are sharper than razors
What kind of friends you got, bitch?
Some smoke machines and some lasers?
Magic is my element
I do not need to be told
Bitch, I was casting stronger magic
When I was just a foal!
You're a fraud!
A bigger chicken than Scootaloo!
I was hoof-chosen by the princess
Now where the fuck does that leave you?
[Verse 3: Trixie]
Hoof-chosen? By a troll?
You're a pretty dense bloke
She probably just chose you
As one of her big fucking jokes!
I'll beat you down, Twi
Make you cry
So best watch what you're startin'!
I'll leave you so stumped
They'll send you back to Magic Kindergarten!
[Verse 4: Twilight]
Now Spike, take a letter
Cause the bitch doesn't know
The kind of Nightmare Night she's bringing
When she puts on this show!
Silly mare, tricks are for kids
You fucking failure!
But don't worry, girl
Though you suck, you've still got Snips and Snails