Pie verse:

PART I

[Instrumental]

PART II

Quagmire: Alright peter the most important thing when you're on a diet is will power. Now I'm gonna put this steaming hot pie on the windowsill to cool. Now no matter how many beckoning fingers that steam morphs into or how badly it tries to sneak its way up your nose, I want you to resist the urge to levitate off the ground and float towards the pie

Peter: Doesn't seem too hard...

Quagmire: Alright, go stand over there

Peter: *footsteps, clawing* Oh, er, no you don't... No, no you can't go in there! No, no, stay out of there, that's my special area! Ah, ah, AAH!! NO, STOP, I'M SAYING NO!! WHAT KIND OF PIE IS THIS!!??

PART III

[Verse 1: Very Smurt]
Pie
Pie
I really like my pie
Strawberry, blueberry
Eat it all the time
I eat it cuz it’s mine
Even if it makes me die
Sooner
I don’t give a damn
Cuz it’s my pie, man!
I’m finna eat it to the sky
Finna eat it cuz I’m bi
Writing these raps
Man, I barely even try
All y’all wonder why
A piece of pie
Ain’t in my mouth
Well guess what kid?
I see it in my eye
And with it, I’m finna fly
Above all of y’all
Because I stand so tall
Bitch, I’m like a brick wall
Slurping it up, talking rhubarb to cherry
And when I devour it, it might get scary, I’m like
A damn vacuum
You can’t assume
I won’t eat a slice
You ain’t rolling the dice right
I’ma eat it up
Eat it down, eat it cuz
I fricking love desert
Man I fricking love pie
[Verse 2: Lil P]
Yo, uh, bro, bruh
Rapping like 'huh'
Confused like "wha?"
*Mumble* su-baha
A hot fire
I went to flying school
Now I'm a super hot flyer
Rapping 'bout all this money I've acquired
My stacks are getting higher and higher
Buy too much attire
I should just retire, yo
Raps are getting deep
I should go to sleep
I'm super tired
It makes me wanna weep
I bought a new Jeep
I bought it from Felipe
I gave him so much cash
I gave him a whole heap
I just wanna sleep
And dream about sheep
I wanna see 'em jump
I wanna see 'em leap
All this money I have, I don't wanna keep
Give it to a charity, they say I'm cheap
PART IV

[Interlude: Spanish people]
Uno, dos
Uno, dos
Uno, dos
Uno, dos
[Repeats for rest of the beat]

[Verse 3: Lil Creeper]
[NOTE: Unsure if transcription is correct. I'll admit, Creeper was to fire in this one it burned out my eardrums from hearing what ton' frinckles he was saying.]
I address this letter to all my guests
Anti charismatic but my IQ test is higher
Than a certain Snoop, Rick Sanchez
IQ is poop, and that's where I
I know the perks of a kill confirmed with dog tags
And a will to earn, a will to learn
You should take notes, here, I'll give you a pen
I'll commit game-end, ah, nah, kid, you ain't cool
But I ain't cool, I ain't down
No more ends, and no more can do's
And no photo is shopped
And no photo is the honors
Then I drop
Country roads, take me home, cuz I'm gone
[Verse 4: Very Smurt]
Pie, pie
Man guy
Making memes to pass the time
Mother trucker just your alibi
Boi you know I ain’t your ally
Truck you up larruso
Snorting peen like Crusoe
This album was so dummy thicc
It got me like ain’t you so dumb
Just for hating
Just for waiting on me
But thanks
I couldn’t have done it without you
Which makes the album about you
Susan you my wild thing
And you know that my heart sings
For you
All for you