[Verse]
Well, I'm Too $hort baby, hear what I say
I never do work but I always play
‘Cause the game is life and I play the game
So you never talk down on a player's name
When I grab my mic, I'm the one man crew
Talking ‘bout me, wouldn't think about you
When you heard Too $hort came to town
You never would've thought I'd be looking down
On who? On you ‘cause I'm so big
Me and my money is all I dig
I don’t eat ice cream or cherry pie
If you know what I mean, I’m just getting by
Like Too $hort baby, on the scene
Back seat riding in a limousine
Telling that freak all about me
The creator of greater, sucker MC's
Chillin’ out by the bay, singing my rap
No MC could rock like that
Now I say it like fans say
No MC could rock my way
When I rap it's always great
Wouldn't care if it was live or on a tape
It's me, $hort, the one and only
Spitting that rap to all my homies
You know about you, I know I'm a star
When I rap too good I might take it too far
Had a whole damn party going wild
‘Cause I don't stop rappin’, that's my style
It’s Too $hort baby, rocking that party
Got women like leather all over my body
Like two plus two, can I freak four?
You don't know? Shit, I'm Playboy $hort
They call me "Playboy $hort" and I tell you why
I pull women every time I’m on the mic
I’m just playing the field, looking to find
A nice young woman I can say is mine
Not a no-good broad who likes to rock
And a rapper named $hort where the bitches grind
It’s like seeing your town, your whole world
Put in my rap all over your girl
She was checked to the max, ‘cause I don’t play
And I was only in town for just one day
Too $hort baby, on the go
To all young ladies, I know you know
I’m gonna take you home with me right now
Just maybe, baby, will show me how
But I tell you, too, so don’t ask me
I lay her down and freak nasty
Said I made her happy, she’ll never be sad
And I kept talking ‘bout what I had
My car, rings, money and things
The clothes I own and the records I sing
Couldn’t do nothing but talk about me
Her worst nightmare, her only dream
Too $hort baby known everywhere
Had a lifelong dream to be a player
Way too cold at a younger age
It was every day, just make that pay
Five years later, still young in the game
And you never talk down on a player's name
‘Cause I'm big time, I’m not the fool
I'm rich and famous and way too cool
Too $hort baby, I’m so cold
Rich young brother with a lot of gold
Too $hort baby is the name I use
A ’85 Benz is what I cruise
Clean from the start, I thought I was it
I was Cadillac slick in the dust I kick
But a Cad’ ain’t me like a drop-top Benz
Talk about me but the boy’s got ends
Money everywhere, all over the floor
At the bank I'm known as "Mr. $hort"
When I rap this rap that I sing
My mind keeps saying I’m everything
So I write this book in my head
Writing raps all day, even in bed
I’m the best MC you never met
The funk rap master made to fit
Just her, that perfect ten
Telling me how she needs a friend
Her man would never treat her right
She got rocked and socked all through the night
But I was Mr. Cool, like I always am
Started rapping that yap I rap to fans
Just talking about my fame and rep
The Lone Ranger, the stranger here to hurt
Young women like you with your big round butt
Blind girls driving down the street called "Love"
Chasing that man, who really can't stand
Seeing your face so now you ran
And you don't realize what you'll soon see
The way making love is supposed to be
With a player known as Playboy Too
Rock a mic and a freak and you'll both be through
Players play women who like to get played
People like you just trying to get laid
But I like money, and I get paid
I do my duty and I say "Good day"
I’m not a gigolo ‘cause I’m way too deep
I’m a one night stand for a nasty freak
Didn’t wanna make love, I’m not that fast
What the hell, she’s a freak, she even asked
We could go to my room, and bake from scratch
You and the champ in a wrestling match
Just work me all around that ring
One on one, you and your dream
Pin me down and I might sing
Just love Too $hort, I'm everything
So cool, my name is "Too"
Call it how you want but I won't call you
Ring my phone and you might see
Ringing my phone just won't get me
‘Cause I'm hard to find, but I get mine
If I was looking for you, I wouldn't be in line
I'd be right on time in the right place
Sir Too $hort all in your face
Talking ‘bout mine and what I want
Tell a girl strip down, it’s time to bump
‘Cause when it’s time to hump, I won’t be no chump
I’ll be singing my rap called “Female Funk”
Big time, oh yes, I am
The true MC, rapping man
I’m on my way to the top
So much rappin’ I’ll never stop
And all that fame you might claim
Couldn’t stand up by my rap name
You might be good, I don’t care
I’ve been rapping like this for five long years
No rapper I heard should have these words
It’s Too $hort baby, you should refer
To when the question asks “Who’s the king of the rap?”
‘Cause I don’t stop rapping like some of you saps
You got sucker MC’s with your record deals
Most raps on wax just couldn’t be real
But I found out soon enough
The word said rap was cleanin’ up
Big bankrolls keep comin’ through
But most MC’s just couldn’t be true
‘Cause the tracks ain’t it, dreamin’ ‘bout hits
But you’ll find out Too $hort don’t quit
When I grab my mic, I’m the one man crew
Talkin’ ‘bout me, wouldn’t think about you
When you heard Too $hort came to town
You never would’ve thought I’d be looking down
On who? On you ‘cause I’m so big
Me and my money is all I dig
Wouldn’t eat ice cream or cherry pie
If you know what I mean, I’m just getting by
‘Cause I’m Too $hort baby, on the scene
Back set riding in a limousine
Telling that freak all about me
Too $hort baby, I’m a cold MC