[Intro: Too $hort & Mike Epps]
$hort Dog
A lot of you n***as runnin' around here talkin' 'bout
Bitch
"You ain't my real daddy, you ain't my real daddy"
Well, looka here, I'm fuckin' ya momma, for real
You know what it is
Now that's real

[Verse 1: Too $hort]
If your homies find out
I be fuckin' on ya momma, I be all up in your house
When you go to bed at night I fuck yo' mama on the couch
I wake up in the morning in her bed smokin' loud

[Chorus: Too $hort]
It's just me and ya momma
It's just me and ya momma

[Interlude: Mike Epps]
It's a whole lotta things going on with you
And you don't even know I had nothing to do with it

[Verse 2: Too $hort]
The first time I fucked her you was in your room
She was screamin' so loud you had to know what she was doin'
Woke up the next morning and she cooked us breakfast
Standin' at the stove, booty big as Texas
I said, "Baby, I wanna have some fun wit' you"
Seen you gettin' mad, so I smoked a blunt wit' you
Told me I was cool, and you said you was a fan
Don't worry about ya momma, she in good hands
[Chorus: Too $hort & Mike Epps]
(I'm fuckin' ya momma)
It's just me and ya momma
It's just me and ya momma
It's just me and ya momma
It's just me and ya momma

[Interlude: Mike Epps & Too $hort]
I'ma keep pullin' that muhfuckin' deuce and a quarter in front of your muhfuckin' house
And every time you get off the bus from school, n***a, you gon' see that car in front of the house and you gon' know who's in there
It's me, n***a
(It's just me and ya momma)
I'ma be sittin' on that muhfuckin' couch, n***a, drinkin' your Capri Suns, n***a, watchin' Dr. Phil
Chillin' on your muthafuckin' couch
(It's just me and ya momma)
Fuckin' ya momma
(It's just me and ya momma)
Don't talk shit to me, n***a, take it up with ya momma
Ya momma's lettin' me do this shit
Ya momma like me

[Verse 3: Too $hort]
Open up the door, she lost the key
You talkin' 'bout, "Who is it?", n***a, it's me
Every time I come through, the weed is free
So if your friend's talkin' shit and say she fuckin' Too $hort
He probably turned the camera on and then pressed record
You better tell them muthafuckas I'm your stepdad
And when I walk up in your house you gon' respect that
It's me and ya momma
[Interlude: Mike Epps & Too $hort]
I said, "N***a, stop watchin' me"
(It's just me and ya momma)
Got me fucked up
(It's just me and ya momma)
But anyway

[Verse 4: Too $hort]
Everywhere I go it's just me and ya momma
We tryin' to get you out, you always be in some drama
And every time I make bail, you act like I wanna
When every other day you gettin' dumber and dumber
N***a, that's why it's just me and ya momma
We butt ass naked, we don't be in pajamas
Got me wastin' my money on your bitch ass
But I love ya momma, boy, so you gon' get that
You should be happy I'm wit' her, you lucky as fuck
'Cause when I ain't around, you be fuckin' shit up
It's just me and her, mayne

[Outro: Mike Epps]
It's just me and ya momma
Me and ya momma
Me and ya momma
It's just me and ya momma
At the grocery store, it's just me and ya momma
At the cleaners, it's just me and ya momma
At the court, it's just me and ya momma
At the school, it's just me and ya momma
In the strip club, just me and ya momma
In the hood, it's just me and ya momma
In jail, it's just me and ya momma
In the bed, it's just me and ya momma
You know, ya momma said to me the other night, she said, "Make love to me, talk dirty to me"
I said, "Your kitchen, your dishes ain't been washed in two weeks"
(Man, you rich, man)
I ain't got no money, n***a, I got three strikes, I can't find no job, n***a
I'm the one makin' ya momma happy, n***a
I'm around the house, I'm fixin' shit, I can cook and everything, n***a
I've been to the pen, and I ain't bringin' no money in the house, n***a
But I'm makin' ya momma happy
It's me and ya momma