It was a clear black night, a clear white moon
Boring G was in the bar, lookin' to consume
Some drinks for the eve, so I can get drunk
Just sippin' on my drink, chillin' all alone

So here's a little tip for you and me
Take care of your liver, don't you see
It needs lots of booze to be happy and free
So here is what you do if you want it to be

Crack open a six pack, Jack
Sip on some rum, Chum
No need to be glum, bum
Just get yourself done

Lap at some cognac, Mr. Black
Swig on a beer, dear
Inhale a nut brown ale, Dale
Hurry, before it gets stale

Swill some Pastis, Denise
Slurp some Crème de cassis, Patrice
Put away a Crème de menthe, Brent
You know it's time to get bent

Take a shot of Tequila, Mila
Chug a Sangria, for Pia, Mia and Lia
Quaff some fancy Chardonnay, Trey
Gargle some Merlot, Bro
Just let yourself go
Fifty ways to love your liver
Yeah there's fifty ways to love your liver
You know there's fifty ways to love your liver
Yeah there's fifty ways to love your liver

Partake of this 15 year Macallan, Allan
Inbibe some spiced Egg Nog, Dog
Pour some white wine, Reinhart
"Wo ist der Deinhard?!"

Down a Bloody Marry, Jerry
But Guiness is in this to win this
This ain't no quiz, test a sloe Gin Fizz, then take a whiz
But first put your drink on the sink, Dink

Pop a shot of Vodka, Walker
Nip at a Baileys, Hailey
Hey you need a Mai Tai, shy guy
Show me the way to the next whiskey bar, don't ask why

Rack us up some Sambuca, Luca
Tipple a little Pfeffi, Steffi
Sop up a Gin and Tonic for Sonic The Hedgehog
And a Jägermeister for the housemeister

Fifty ways to love your liver
Yeah there's fifty ways to love your liver
You know there's fifty ways to love your liver
Yeah there's fifty ways to love your liver
Swig on a Ramazzotti, Pavarotti
Guzzle some Hennessy, Tennessee
Toss back a Manischewitz, Lenny Kravitz
Soak up an Amaretto, Gepetto
There's no Frangelico in the ghetto

Raise a Grappa, Zappa
Belt some Champagne, Charlemagne
Irrigate yourself with Martini, Fellini
Want a White Russian? - No need for discussion

Absorb some Fernet Branca, Anke
Libate with a Moscow Mule, fool
Gulp down a Pernod, Gernot
Slug back a Margarita, for Margaret and Rita

Quench yourself with a Mojito, Pablito
Wet your whistle with some Slivovic, evil witch
Toast your little spider with Apple Cider
But only Absinth for your abstinent stint

Fifty ways to love your liver
Yeah there's fifty ways to love your liver
You know there's fifty ways to love your liver
Yeah there's fifty ways to love your liver
No need to get down and sulk and quiver
Life will take er and she'll give er
But there's one thing that will always deliver
There must be fifty ways to love your liver

I'm drinking into a whole new era
Get drunk and step to this I dare ya
Drunk on a whole new level
The drink is iced and the ice is the treble

Bottles
Drinks
We brings
Alcohol
Get drunk
Where drinkin' is life
And life is drinkin'

If you drink like I drink
You don't wanna step to this
It's the gin-tonic era
Funked out with a lemon twist
If you dope like I dope
Then you're high like every day
Your liver will get all busted
As it expands and turns grey

Fifty ways to love your liver
Yeah there's fifty ways to love your liver
You know there's fifty ways to love your liver
Yeah there's fifty ways to love your liver

Fifty ways to love your liver
Yeah there's fifty ways to love your liver
You know there's fifty ways to love your liver
Yeah there's fifty ways to love your liver

There must be fifty ways to love your liver
Unconsciousness