[Verse 1: Stephin Merritt]
Everything is one big Christmas tree
All got up with lights and candy
All the world is turning prettily
Everyone's awaiting Sandy

Stop mumbling and cheer up
Put down the book, pick beer up

[Verse 2: Stephin Merritt]
Why sit in your dark and lonely room?
Must your every word be sincere?
Here's a vial of laughing gas perfume
See that people smile when you're near

If they don't like you, screw them
Don't leave your fortune to them

[Verse 3: Stephin Merritt and Daniel Handler]
Nein, vielleicht ist Alles nicht ein Traum
Ist Alles ein Albtraum? Nicht, nicht!
Alles ist ein großer Tannenbaum
Rotierend im Weltraumgeschichte
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
[Verse 4: Stephin Merritt]
Everything is one big Christmas tree
All got up with lights and candy
All the world is turning prettily
Everyone's awaiting Sandy

[Outro: Stephin Merritt]
Where can that Sandy be?
Where can that Sandy be?
Where can that Sandy be?
Where can that Sandy be?
Where can that Sandy be?
Where can that Sandy be?