[Verse 1]
She left for someone so much slimmer than me
My confidence wrecked, like a ship in the sea
But I got allotment, and I got the shed
I got the toys when the kids have dropped dead

[Pre-Chorus 1]
I've got the confidence nipped in the bud
I got the backchat that does me no good
Just when you think she can't get no more cold
She's emptied the freezer and left me the mould

[Chorus]
Just when you think she's got all that you got
She got the roof, and left chimney pot
Just when you think she can't get any lower
She got the garden, left you the mower

The mower...

[Verse 2]
When I asked why she found somebody else
She answered me, 'Why, just take a look at yourself'
Just when I felt it was as low as it gets
She's left me the dog food and taken the pets
[Pre-Chorus 2]
I got the new flat, a fridge full of beer
And you got the new friend who's loving you here
Loving you here in what once was my bed
And I got the couch or a mattress instead

[Chorus]
Just when you think she's got all that you got
She got the roof, and left chimney pot
Just when you think she can't get any lower
She got the garden, left you the mower

The mower...

[Bridge]
Just when you think
She's got all that you got
Just when you're stood there
In permanent shock

You spent your last penny
And lost your last sock
She's got the acres
And you've lost the plot

[Outro]
Just when you think she's got all that you got
She got the roof, and left chimney pot
Just when you think she can't get any lower
She got the garden, left you the mower
Just when you think she's got all that you got
She got the roof, and left chimney pot
Just when you think she can't get any lower
She got the garden, left you the mower

The mower
The mower
The mower...