[Intro]

[Verse 1]
When you've had your John Travoltas
And the Fonzes have run dry
And that disco boy
Has busted his last move

The cartwheel and the back flip
Have propelled them into sky
And the cocksure kid's
No longer in the groove

[Pre-Chorus 1]
When the elbows of the hipsters
They have bumped and they have ground
And moonwalked their selfish butts
Into the sea

On the outskirts of the dancefloor
In Club Paradiso
Is the spot that you will find
Two-left-footed me

[Chorus 1]
Two left feet, a tender heat
A flat of unpaid bills
On the outskirts of the dancefloor
By the lake of lager spills
Ankle-deep in alcohol
Shoulder-deep in shame
The outskirts of the dancefloor's
A different game

[Verse 2]
Back in 1940's
When tap and ballroom hit
Leaving every non-Astaire
In deep despair

Even in that golden age
Half the folk would sit
And wonder what on Earth
Had brought them there

[Pre-Chorus 2]
If you've ever seen your lover
Swept up off their feet
And waltzed away
In someone else's arms

On the outskirts of the dancefloor
In Club Paradiso
Is the only place you'll ever
Work your charms
[Chorus 2]
Two left feet, a tender heat
A flat of unpaid bills
On the outskirts of the dancefloor
By the lake of lager spills

Ankle-deep in alcohol
Shoulder-deep in shame
The outskirts of the dancefloor's
An idiot's game

[Outro]
For every swinging, twisting, bopping
Lindy-hopping Mac
At least another ten of us
Were embarrassed at the back

And when Elvis and his giddy mates
Were twisting by the pool
It left we of little confidence
Decidedly uncool
Uncool
Uncool

Uncool
Uncool
Uncool