If you talk about saving the environment, you have got to be out of your mind
Polar bears are real cute until you watch them eat their own kind
Mauled by a tiger or bit by a shark? I’d much rather be hit by a bus
So let’s pave the planet. We’ll get them before they get us

All this dark matter is strangling my heart
It’s as black and as empty as space
How could you miss it? It’s written all over my face

And if you haven’t yet, pick up a pack of cigarettes
I’m told that they’re good for your health
Just don’t wait for them to throw you a bone
It’s just a matter of time until you’re shown
That you’re a fool to be on anyone’s side but your own

Because what it comes down to is, in this world, you’re alone
You’d better start thinking of yourself

“Golf is like God” and “Beer is like sex” were my dad’s rules for being a man
But the truth of his words, at the time, I could not understand
He said that, “You will be a conservative too when you get something to conserve”
But the world he’s created I can neither afford nor deserve

Acting dumb, screaming “Fuck capitalism”
Shouting at the top of our lungs
Back when we were idealistic, naive, and young
Now, I’m met with a frightening prospect
That forces me to my knees to crawl
The older I get, the less I care
About which punk rock t-shirt to wear
That’s why it’s time to maybe cut off all my stupid hair

Because we all are catching the scent in the air
We can’t change the world after all

We must admire the weak and the frail who wear long pants and shirts to the beach
Because when we are slaves, they will be the ones holding the leash
Those among us with the most powerful brains, they deserve all the pity we have
Because, for all their brilliance, they can’t tell what’s good from what’s bad

So let’s figure out what this fuss is all about
Get out your forceps and knife
Take pi/infinity and multiply by the meaning of life

Because the ones who are not drinking poison
Are urinating in a cup
What I need is a clever aside
To keep my idle brain occupied
And the size of the universe is one I’ve already tried

All hope for the future has finally died
Youth of America, give up