You could close down Moe's or the Kwik-E-Mart
And nobody would care
But the heart and soul of Springfield is
Our Maison Derrière

We're the sauce on your steak, We're the cheese in your cake
We put the spring in Springfield
We're the lace on the night gown, the point after touchdown
Yes we put the spring in Springfield
We're that little extra spice that makes existence extra nice
A giddy little thrill at a reasonable price
Our only major quarrel's with your total lack of morals
Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad, they seem to entertain your dad
The gin in your martini, the clams on your linguini
We keep the *boing* in Springfield
We remember our first visit, the service was exquisite
Why Joseph, I had no idea
Come on now, you were working here
Without we'd have had no fun since March of 1961
To shut them down now would be twisted
We just heard this place existed
We're the highlights in your hairdo, the extra arms on Vishnu
So don't take the *boing*
We won't take the *slide whistle*
Yes let's keep the *crash* in Springfield!