[Lisa]
Hey, Springfield! Are you suffering from the heartbreak of monster-itis? Then take a tip from Mr. Paul Anka!

[Paul Anka]
To stop those monsters, one-two-three
Here's a fresh new way that's trouble-free
It's got Paul Anka's guarantee

[Lisa]
Guarantee void in Tennessee

[Paul Anka and Lisa]
Just don't look! Just don't look! [x2]