[Lisa (spoken)]
Kickin' It: A Music Journey Through the Betty Ford Center

[Marge (spoken)]
You know, when I was a girl, I always dreamed of being in a Broadway audience

[Judge (spoken)]
How do you find the defendant?

[Juror 1]
He's guilty of mayhem, exposure indecent

[Juror 2]
Freaked out behaviour, both chronic and recent

[Jury]
Drinking and driving, narcotics possession

[Juror 3]
And that's just page one of his ten page confession

[Judge]
I should put you away where you can't kill or maim us
But this is L.A. and you're rich and famous!

[In the Betty Ford Center]
[Criminal]
I'm checkin' in!

[All]
He's checkin' in!

[Criminal]
I'm checkin' in!

[All]
Checkin', checkin' in!

[Criminal]
No more pills or alcohol
No more pot or Demerol
No more stinkin' fun at all!
I'm checkin' in!

[All]
He's checkin' in!
He's checkin' in!

[Doctor]
No more lookin' pale and thin
No more bugs beneath your skin
[Criminal]
Hey, that's just my aspirin!

[All]
Chuck it out!
You're checkin' in!

[Bart (spoken)]
When I grow up, I wanna be in the Betty Ford Center

[Marge (spoken)]
Better start saving now, it's very expensive

[Lisa (spoken)]
Shh! They're strapping down Liza Minnelli